Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


Picture003.jpgIMG_3599-1.jpg






Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photobucket

 &nb

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:24pm
Of course your approach is for people who happen to believe that the Big Day isn't solely about the b & g's personal preferences. Not a "destination wedding" as such, more of a considerate way to solve some logistical problems. The wedding on St. John's, however, can become somewhat exclusionary unless the b & g are willing and able to cover everybody's expenses and maybe call everybody's boss to explain the situation ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:25pm

.....and not everyone posting here lives in the US.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:26pm

Well, the scoreboard at my MLB clearly states to what for objects leaving the field, but those are bats and ball....which of course makes sense, at least in a baseball game, lol.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:27pm
The question becomes "How important is it to *us* as the Happy Couple to include everyone we might wish to include". Some people are fine with their grandparents not being able to make it to St. John, while others might consider their absence antithetical to having things THEIR way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:27pm
I think they're tacky and that the purpose they actually do serve would be better served in a different way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:29pm

Most weddings are "somewhat exclusionary" unless you invite everyone in town. One place we lived growing up, that was the idea. You had a church wedding, it was announced in the church bulletin and understood the whole congregation was invited. Receptions were invariably cake and punch (no dancing or alcohol and God Forbid you showed enough leg to throw a garter, but the bouquest was OK). Kind of charming in retrospect.

Ain't no way I would ever attend a Caribbean resort wedding, but I have to assume that anybody throwing one knows that and would be send an invitation for the sole reason of getting a present from me, not because that person truly wanted me at the wedding. Whether I came through with a present or not would definitely depend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:31pm
Oh sure, but I was just calling something tacky because I'm allowed to here ;-) No expectation at all that anyone will agree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:31pm

actually, her statements seem to indicate that she thinks that people should get excited about things and do it HER way. I've never indicated that my way is the only way to do it.

She's indicated that my way is thoughtless and insulting to the people that I told(paraphrasing her words here) because I wanted to tell people the minute that we had a date set. She's indicated in so many words that I was, in fact, "wrong" for doing so because it puts "pressure" on the recipient.

No, she's the one indicating that it needs to be done the way that SHE would do it. I've claimed no such thing. I would love to get a save-the-date notification if any of my friends or family were getting married. I would be so happy for them. It would never occur to me that the notification was intended to make me miserable and feel under pressure to take my pencil to the calendar (insert eye roll here).

carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:32pm
I think a lot of things are tacky. So what?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:32pm
Why would you not attend a Caribbean wedding? Obviously the person inviting you would be someone who wants you at their wedding?

Pages