Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:37pm

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See I haven't seen that in her posts.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:38pm

I, like everyone else, have limited travel funds and time, and I have no interest in spending either at a Caribbean resort. So if the couple were people I really cared about, I would send a nice hand-written card, wishing them all the best, and a nice gift, and that would be that.

It would be nice to assume that all the wedding invitations we receive are from people who really want us at their wedding. We've not found that to be the case. We've found that a lot of people use wedding and other social occasions as a means of paying back or creating business obligations and we have no desire to be involved in something like that. For instance, we recently received an invitation to the wedding of our financial planners' son's wedding. We wouldn't know either the bride or the groom if we saw one of them on the street. We are not going.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:40pm

again it's that pessimistic vs. optimistic viewpoint. As an optimist I see no downside -- just a sincere notification of a big upcoming event that i wanted to share. As for phone calls and letters, we did personally share with friends and family but wanted to make it "official". And, I'm not sure how different a "letter" is than an actual "save the date" card. Seems quite nit-picky to me.

As a pessimist it appears that you have now taken this to mean that a save-the-date notification lacks etiquette and is only about the sender. I think you are wrong.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:40pm

Gross! I must confess...dh and I thoroughly enjoy mocking the especially outrageous letters that we get. A friend of my parents' sends a family "newspaper" complete with headlines, local news, sports, etc. It is full of articles about their little darlings' latest accomplishments. We love to try to read between the lines to get the real story. My favorite from last Christmas was a story about their youngest son auditioning for "Barney". The story concluded that upon deeper consideration they decided it would be too time consuming for the little prince to be on a TV show. Of course, it didn't take a genius to figure out that what really happened was that he didn't get the gig, lol!

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:41pm

Are you that close to the financial planner? If you are, you are going for them even if you don't know the bride and groom. I had people at my wedding who were friends of my mil that barely knew us but they were there because my mil invited them.

Do you have something against the carribean??-lol!! I would go in a second if a friend or family member invited me AND I was able to afford it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:42pm
It's the ole' is the glass half empty or half full!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:43pm

I wonder, do the folks who send these things not realize the reaction that they get from most people? lol.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:43pm

I finished my education (10 years of night school one class at a time), worked FT and raised my kids -- as I will continue to do for the next 10 years or so.

They know how important they are to me. WHY in the world wouldn't they?

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:49pm

okay, NOW I'm ROFLOL!!!!! What is the DIFFERENCE between this.....

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and just getting a card in the mail??? GEEZ, you don't even need to say "thanks" to the people that sent the note....

Now you're really, really splitting hairs.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:50pm
right. but dds nor i *expected* gifts for their first communions but some of our company still apologized for forgetting to..and i think that's an awkward place to be for both sides.


Edited 6/27/2007 12:52 pm ET by egd3blessed

 

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