Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:50pm

I don't care how wealthy someone is. Gross materialism is never attractive. I would suggest that you try to catch an episode of "Sweet 16" on MTV. Lovely young ladies...blech!!

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:53pm

You know how close I am to my financial planner? Every time he has an idea about how to invest my money, he calls me and tells me about it. And DH and I discuss his idea, and call back and say yes or no. I had no idea what his wife's first name was until we got the invitation. The only reason I know he has kids is because there is a family photo on his credenza, which is obviously out of date.

I don't have anything against the Caribbean, but we prefer to spend our vacations at historic sites and/or cultural events. Hanging around a resort just isn't our idea of fun.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:56pm

And where, exactly, does Emily Post say that your gift must cover the cost of your plate?

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:56pm

why assume the worst? I would assume that they wanted me to know about and share in their special day, hoped I could make it, but surely would understand if I could not because of the distance.

it would never occur to me that they "only" sent the invite to get a gift from me.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:58pm

I have been reading the same posts that you have. I don't see any such attitude.

Robin

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:59pm
I think in those cases I simply say "don't be silly. no gifts were expected and we are delighted that you were able to be here. that's what's important"

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 12:59pm
thank you. that was very well said.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:00pm

I'm glad that no one I know feels as you do. They were all thrilled to know that we were getting married.

Tacky? Not at all.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:01pm

Good for you. As I said, anyone who knows us well enough to want us at their wedding knows that we wouldn't be travelling to the Caribbean for their ceremony.

We've had one unfortunate experience with a distant cousin of my husband's sending us an invitation to a distant site that we were actually, and coincidently, going to be visiting just about the time of their wedding. When we called the bride's mother to inquire about some logistical arrangements, she made it quite clear that when they sent the invitation, they had no idea we would actually attend! It was just a "courtesy invitation!" Which of course required a courtesy gift!

Some people don't understand the difference between a wedding invitation and a wedding announcement.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:02pm

Excuse me if I don't take your word on what "class" is.

Robin

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