Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:04pm
Yeah, I wouldn't got to his kids' wedding either-lol!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:05pm
i know i know..but that's a comfort response probably to their embarrassment. it's not at all about them forgetting if ykwim.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:05pm
She never said that and I never said she did. This is just a customary thing that is done where I live.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:07pm
I guess I"m confused then. if gifts weren't expected, then how can someone 'forget'? My concern would always first and foremost be to reassure my guests that indeed they were not expected to bring a gift and we were simply delighted to share the day with them -- my guests comfort and well being should and would come first.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:08pm
That's fine but if you think it is ok to go to a big event like a wedding and not bring a gift, that is no class. The thought of "well we don't have the money but I still want to go and not give anything at all, ever" is no class. That is exactly how my dh's cousin is. She has NO class and never will.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:11pm

Don't you just hate people who only think of themselves?!

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:12pm

I think we all know the answer to that question.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:13pm
Yes I do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:13pm

Exactly!

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:14pm
well, i just disagree. i think for kids to carry the burden that everything their parents do they do for them, is just too great. i want my kids to see that being a parent doesnt prevent one from having their own happy healthy life that has nothing to do with the kids. there are as many different ways to go to school as there are people going, why make your kids the scapegoat for you not going - if you really wanted to go you could and without putting your kids in daycare or not being home after school. how do your kids go to work with dad if they are in school? and we are all still waiting to see how you logistically mangae to make it to every event of so many kids.

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