Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:16pm
That is very rude. How can you "forget" a gift to a communion?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:17pm

I feel the same way about some of them. Not the black, of course...I wore black at my own wedding!

But no, I've never expected my preferences to be considered even for a second.


Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:18pm

In my opinion a first communion is a religious right of passage which in no way places an expection of gift giving on anyone. I was very clear with my daughter before her first communion (which was just last month) that we are inviting people to a party afterwards to celebrate this wonderful event and to celebrate the love we all have for her and that she should not expect to receive gifts at all and if she did then it was a lovely expression of love and a nice bonus. I will not raise my child to think that the world should give her a gift every time she turns around. period.

For the record, she recieved some lovely gifts, and some lovely cards and had sent out hand written thank yous by the following week.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:20pm
Maybe because you would do the same thing? "Forget" a gift. Not even a card? I don't get it how someone could do that. At that point, take out your checkbook and write them a check then!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:20pm

by saying that the "save the date" cards are tacky, she's said that the only way to do it is HER way.

she disagrees with sending them because she feels that they are done to put the recipient "on the spot" to make sure they save the date and plan nothing else for that day.

she thinks that sending them is only about the bride and groom's ego.

No, I think her view of them as "tacky" indicates that doing it that way is wrong and that the only way to do it is hers.

Tacky is her word, not mine.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:22pm
You should be so proud of yourself, esp given all that you've been through these last few years. Definitely an inspiration to those around you, I'm sure. I hope you have a wonderful celebration when you are through (and be sure to send me a Save the Date card LOL)!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:23pm
If I was going to a communion, I would never show up without a gift. My daughter made her communion last year and she will always remember what she got because we allowed her to have 1/4 of the money to buy something for herself. The rest went to her savings and she was fine with that as we are teaching her that in life you should spend AND save.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:25pm
I don't think that considering something "tacky" is saying that it shouldn't be done. Heck, I get in these moods where I absolutely adore tacky. Sometimes I get myself an AA road tour book and spend a whole vacation doing nothing but driving around looking for the tackiest tourist attractions between two spots. Tacky can be fun!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:25pm
Concisely put and my sentiments exactly!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:26pm

Do you think that remembering 14 years later who "stiffed" you at your wedding is a classy thing to do?

Robin

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