Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
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| Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm |
It struck me today that she might not.
I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.
She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?
She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....
I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.
Andrea







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You should hear the whole story, then....
Basically, we get this invitation out of the blue for the daughter of a cousin of DH's that he has not seen for 40 years. And it was up in the northeast, and we were driving to Maine for our summer vacation that year, so we looked at the map and thought, "Why not?" It was like a hundred miles out of our way, but DH thought it would be fun to see the cousin again and meet her kids, and we really haven't had that much contact with DH's extended family over the years although I've heard lots of stories, soo...
We realize that our kids are not invited -- their names are not on the invitation. And the kids are 13 and 9 that year, just about old enough to leave alone in a hotel for a few hours, you know? We get on a few travel sites and find, though, some feedback about the hotels nearest the wedding being "a little scary" in terms of their location in a major city and the potential for crime.
So I decide to call the cousin and ask for her feedback -- she knows the city, will the kids be OK for a few hours in such-and-such a hotel. And her response was, "I hope you are not angling for an invitation for the kids. Because me daughter is firm. No kids."
And I say of course not, but we will have the kids with us and need to leave them in a safe place and I was just wanting some feedback. And she says that she doesn't really know the area either and will get back to us. Only four or five days go by and she doesn't get back to us.
So I call her again and ask if it would be OK if my husband came alone? And she says, and I quote, "To tell the truth, we really had no idea EITHER of you would really want to come."
So DH sent a check for 25 bucks.
And we never heard from them again. But the check was cashed.
BTW, if I were marrying your ex-husband, I'd wear black, too. So it's not tacky in your case. ;-)
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