Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 3:18pm
I agree that some girls are spoiled. We can't speak for all people though, can we?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 3:19pm
Okay.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 3:21pm
I'm sure it can be conveniently forgotten, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 3:21pm

I am not condoning any lie. I frankly don't quite know what you are talking about. What I can glean is that there were people at your daughter's first communion celebration who are not in the habit of bringing gifts when gifts are expected and then cover it up by lying and saying that they forgot. And that you said that that was OK, no gift was expected. Only now it sounds not OK. I'm confused.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 3:23pm
Sure-lol!! I can see my fil doing that-lol!! He also told me once he could live on $100,000 for the rest of his life (he was around 50 years old at that time)-lol!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 3:41pm
that has got to be one of the most self-seving statements i have ever read - unless your friends are as materialistic as you are. i did not invite one person to my wedding in hopes of getting a gift. i invited the people who were important to me and who i wanted to share the day with, what gift they brought or if they even brought a gift was irrelevant. what would have been rude would be to ignore my special day, one that i wanted to share with them, over a gift, which means NOTHING.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 3:46pm

Of course not, but we can certainly assume that a child's value system is greatly influenced by how they are raised. Our children learn what is important by our actions. I certainly don't think that one elaborate party is going to ruin a child, but the party is often just the tip of the iceberg.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 3:48pm

good luck with that (them remembering you were a sahm). My mom was sah until I was 12, then she went to work. I'll always associate her with a wohm. Either way, she did a fantastic job!

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 3:52pm
do you even understand what it means to invite guests to an event. it means you pay for the event and they are there at you invitation - they are not there to pick up the tab for your event. that is just sick. and what does being able to afford have to do with what one gives for a gift. i give the gift i want to give and if i dont want to give a gift i dont, it is not up to the person having the event to tell me what they expect as a dollar value on a gift. i have only declined one wedding invitation that i recall and the only reason i declined it was that the bride and groom were classless enough to put on their intivation that they only wanted cash.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 3:58pm
it should be the genuine sentiment. people should always mean more than any gift. alot of my dd's friends had first communion this year and almost all the party invites said no gifts. im so glad our friends realize that it is the people and not the gifts that make the events special.

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