Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 4:01pm
ITA, tacky can be a blast, as we've amply demonstrated right here!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 4:03pm
Actually, you're right; I think these cards are tacky and that they shouldn't be used. But of course I have no power of enforcement, and I'd even go so far as to say that should anyone do the tacky thing, that doesn't necessarily mean they're tacky as individuals.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 4:04pm
Called it what you want. I did not have my wedding to get gifts. I had it to be married to my dh. The point is that you do not go to a wedding and not bring a gift when you are a guest.
One of the girls I work with just got invited to a friends wedding. She just had a baby and I know she could not afford to go. She declined the invitation saying she didn't want to leave her baby. She knew that she would not go just because she wanted to and not bring a gift. I am sure the girl getting married would have been fine with that because I grew up with her but the girl from work knew it was just not right for her to do that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 4:06pm
Um, if PA made false statements, then that makes two of you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 4:08pm

I NEVER expected anyone to pay for any of my parties. I never said I did. There are plenty of couples that DO but I was not like that.

Not bringing a gift to a party because you don't feel like it is not right either.

Asking for cash-OMG-CLASSLESS, just like you said!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 4:09pm
i remember my mom being there for us too, but the funny thing is that some years she woh and some years she sah - i could no more tell you what years she did what than i could fly to the moon, because work status has NOTHING to do with a parent being available to a child. i think my 16 year old is much more likely to remember the things i do with her now than my 4 year old is, and while i sah my 16 year old works.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 4:10pm
It's okay; in these long threads, it's not hard to become confused. But as I said, there's not much point in limiting our discussion of traditions to those we see around the U.S., in part because more often than not, those traditions come from somewhere else. And today, many of us have more of an international perspective. IOW, I'm just as likely to be a witch and knock some foreigner's wedding tradition as that of a U.S. citizen ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 4:11pm
Child rape? A bit more confusion here, perhaps? Only one poster mentioned child rape, and it wasn't I.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 4:12pm
how sad for the bride that she wont have one of her friends with her on her special day - and how sad for the person invited that she thinks a gift means more than her presence. i am just so thankful i dont have friends like that
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 4:14pm
so if your 5 best friends were invited to your wedding and they decided not to bring a gift would you be okay with that.

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