Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 5:39pm
Never said my friends or I had any class.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 5:50pm
Ok, don't know how to respond to that. Doubt I would tell anyone that I did not have class though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 6:31pm
But with what you have been saying is that, to this day, you would remember that they had not given you a gift. Did you match up response cards with your gift cards to know exactly who gave you something. I kept a list of gifts as a way to manage thank you notes...but I have zero clue if everyone who came to my wedding (275 peeps) gave me a gift. Nor do I have any interest in knowing. I find this score keeping bizarre and completely lacking in class.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 7:27pm

"why is it so difficult to understand that I can make it to all of the parties and games etc... "

IME, it is impossible. Just last month, EDS had a field trip at the same time that YDS had his cast party for the Puppet Show. IMPOSSIBLE to do both.

When EDS was in baseball and YDS was in soccer- they frequently had games/practices at the same time 45 minutes from each other. IMPOSSIBLE to attend both.

IME the same parents do not gone on all the field trips. That priviledge is shared. Each class has about 3-4 field trips a year - there are enough parents wanting to go on field trips that we have to take turns. We get to go on 1 or 2.

Our school schedules field trips for certain grades when other grades are having a special day and need to spread out (like COlonial Days, GRECO day, 1st grade International Holiday party....) If you have two children in those grades you CANNOT go on the field trip AND help out on the special days. IMPOSSIBLE.

Add a sick child, and you have to miss an event.

Adding 4 more children to the the pot would increase the number of conflicts exponentially.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 7:52pm
Ok first of all I don't think you understood what I said. MY kids go to a rural school where there are a TOTAL of 130 students from Pre-K to 12th grade. If there is a field trip, which RARELY happens, parents are not usually invited to go, BUT if we are, and there is a trip, THE ENTIRE GRADE SCHOOL ATTENDS there are only 5 grades with an average of six to seven students and seven teachers/teachers aides to go with them. They very rarely dont go anywhere together, which would make it easier for me to go too, because they are all in one place. I have two in grade school, one in jr. high and one in high school, they never have games at the same time/day. Jr. high plays ball on monday and thursday, high school plays one tuesday and friday, when the elem. kids play ball, it is generally on the same team. I have attended games five days a week sometimes and that includes the away games, I like to go, it's fun to watch. I even go to the football games where my oldest girls cheer, not unlike most of the other parents of the kids in the school. Two of my children are not yet in school, they won't be for another year, but they go to all the events with me or they go to their grandmothers house and spend time with her. It is not impossible, sometimes a little difficult, but not impossible. I don't live in a big place where my kids are doing things 45 minutes apart from each other, they are all doing those things in the same place if they are doing them at the same time and if they aren't in the same place they are on different nights, even in the summer. We don't play baseball and soccer isn't available, so we do horse club in the summer time and the kids compete on horseback on the events similar to some in rodeo. That is one night a week, and several other evenings when we just ride for fun. Oh, and by the way, my kids also show Hogs and goats for 4-H, we are even raising our own piglets this year, all of us together, they love the animals and are learning alot of responsibility in raising a show animal. Its great fun.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 9:26pm
At the very least, it goes to show there's some way tacky stuff going on out there wrt invitations and announcements that not everyone realizes is tacky, even though they should know better. Anyone claiming non-tackiness had better think twice LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 9:28pm

Why is it a lack of class to have a wedding book that has sections for names, addresses and gifts in it? I wrote everything down so I knew what gift I needed to thank for, for the shower and how much each person gave as a gift for the wedding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 11:34pm
if you only have 130 kids in grades prek-12th how can your school possibly field a football team
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 11:44pm
i just think kids are smart enough to know if their parents are totally absorbed by them and with them - and i just dont think it is a healthy thing for kids. hey, we just want different things for our kids. i want mine to grow up seeing that being parents is a wonderful thing, but it is not all consuming and doesnt not have to dominate ones life to be done well. i also want them to grow up knowing that being parents doesnt absolve them of their other responsibilities in life, responaibilities like being a wife, a friend, a daughter, etc... and that those are just as important as the role of parent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 12:28am
It's called 6-Man, we play that in Texas. Our high school was District runner up and Regional Qualifier last year.

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