Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 12:34am
I am a wife a friend and a daughter too, not just a mom, my kids know that, we spend alot of time with friends and family, that is part of all of our lives. Most of my friends are the parents of the kids my kids go to school with, it works out that way when you live in a very small community. I spend alone time with my husband, although with six kids it's not as much as it probably should be, but it is quality time when it is. We go away every year for our anniversary and my mom keeps the kids for a few nights, no big deal. We go to eat lunch once a week at least together and the 17 year old helps with the kids while we do that. And as far as my parents are concerned, we all spend alot of time with them, they only live 20 miles up the road in the next little town and we can see them any time we want, I help them when they need it and they help us when we need it. I don't think that I am too absorbed in my kids lives, I think that for our family everything works out just the way it should. Maybe it's not for you, but your life probably isn't for me either.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 12:50am
PPSSSTTT... I lived in Bermuda for 4 years...its not the Caribean:) They are very touchy about that over there in Bermuda. Its the same latitude as the Carolinas!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 4:10am
There's nothing wrong with the Caribbean, but a resort vacation there is hardly a true representation of all that's great about the Caribbean islands.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 4:16am

Hey, if you ever get the opportunity, Barbados and Dominica (not to be confused with the Dominican Republic) are both really great islands to visit for history and local culture. And Dominica is also a great island for hiking, rafting, fishing. Very little of Dominica is paved over--the island pushes its tourism as a Eco-tourist site and the island is just amazingly lovely. http://www.dominica.dm/site/index.cfm

I've even been watching the incredibly cheesy CBS summer reality show "Pirate Master" because it was filmed in and around Dominica (believe me the ONLY thing that show has to offer is the scenery--I just put the TV on mute and reminisce).

I'm SO going back to Dominica. And Barbados. And Puerto Rico, too, for that matter. (Okay, and St. Kitts and the Virgin Islands). They all had way more to offer in terms of history and culture than just hanging at the beach at a resort that basically shuts itself away from the rest of the island.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 4:22am
I don't know too many people who bring their checkbook to a wedding.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 4:27am

Yeah, it's such a drag when INVITED GUESTS refuse to pony up to their share of the expenses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 4:31am
LOL, maybe the wedding programs will all note, "This wedding sponsored by ..... " with a list of the corporate underwriters ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 4:46am
Bermuda is in the Sargasso Sea, isn't it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 6:28am

"Maybe it's not for you, but your life probably isn't for me either."

This is the crux of the whole debate, IMO. WHat is best for each family is different because each family is different. Children grow up to be happy healthy self-actualized adults in all work status families.

Whether you intended it or not, your first posts dripped of "sah is best for all" attitude. You used some language that many "militant" sah have used in the past.

You are lucky to have parents that will/are able to take your children for several days so you and your DH can have together time. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 7:12am
I agree one party will not make a spoiled child.

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