Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:38am
If marriage is equivalent to rape, then a lot of us are in deep trouble.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:39am
Um, no; the strawman would be your assertion that I mentioned child rape.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:40am
She's close. Bermuda is just to the west of the Sargasso.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:41am
Cite, please.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:42am
so here in the US, if a man marries a 12 year old, he can not be charged with rape? I'm not speaking of other countries. We were originally speaking of cultural traditions performed here during weddings. Not cultural traditions held in other countries. You brought it up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:43am
No, it wouldn't. You said something to the effect of not caring for a man marrying a 12 year old, along with dollar dances. Again, you brought up the subject of child rape.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:44am
Your rightfield and baseball comments.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:44am
I don't know about you, but I'd resent being effectively left out of the wedding of a close family member, even if I didn't mention it to anyone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:46am
Don't know that that makes a lot of sense; if things had gotten that bad, there might not even be an invitation to respond to. I believe that in some instances, invitees are invited on the assumption that they're good with the people doing the inviting, even if the invitation proves hard for them to honor.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:48am
Sorry, no; please show me a post of mine where I mentioned rape, unless it was a response to yours.

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