Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


Picture003.jpgIMG_3599-1.jpg






Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photobucket

 &nb

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:00am
If it makes it easier for you, let's stick to the U.S. only. Among Mormoms, marriage can happen in the early teens. If you want to call that rape, feel free, but then that might make two of us knocking other people's customs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:00am
You did?
Just thought it was weird to compare a dollar dance to a situation of child rape. Surely alot of people wouldn't be okay with that situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:02am
exactly. but we was talking about customs and traditions performed here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:03am
Yes, and that's why I like your approach, which was not to leave anybody out. What I don't get is why you say you wouldn't care, when clearly you quite naturally would.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:03am
You know, if I was any more ignorant, I'd think you are insulting my intelligence, lol.
You're not, are you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:04am
Right, which doesn't really jibe with your claim that nobody is under any obligation to include anybody else in their wedding plans. To me, they pretty much are.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:06am
I also think it's weird to bring up rape in this context, which is why I'm wondering why you did.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:07am
Maybe you were, but I wasn't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:07am

Exactly....


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:07am

I would very much care if my son and I had such a damaged relationship that he would issue me an invitation to something knowing I couldn't go but that other people would be attending. It would be flaunting the damaged relationship.

On the other hand, I can certainly see my son and the girl of his dreams saying something to the effect of "Mom, Lisa Jo and I can't stand the idea of a big wedding, or in fact, any kind of wedding at all and we are going to run off to the top of a mountain and get married at dawn. Just the two of us and the pastor."

In the first instance, I would be crushed. In the second, no. It would be a rare instance of the kid being even smarter than his parents were, lol!

Pages