Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:14am
No it's not. Thank goodness, in the USA, a man can be charged with raping his own wife, if she didn't consent to the sexual act.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:15am
Yes, but were he to elope (which I agree might be the better part of valor in today's "wedding environment"), you wouldn't be the only one excluded, so that's way different. It might be hurtful, but not in the same way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:15am

<>


So by you saying that "save the date" cards are useful, are you saying that is the only way to do it as well?


<>


Okay, that is her opinion (and she's entitled to disagree with save the date cards, on a debate board)....sure, but I haven't seen anywhere that she has stated that celebrations should be carried out in HER way.


<>


You think they are great and helpful, are you saying that is the only way to have a wedding?


<>


Of course, an opinion of the save the date cards...but has she actually stated that everyone should celebrate HER way?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:15am
thanks! I thought I have read about a few cases like that.
I wouldn't think that a man could have property rights on his wife.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:17am
Were we talking about marriage without parental consent?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:18am
I don't know. That is a way to bring a man up on rape charges though. If the parents didn't consent to it, they can. I know some states you need parental consent, but there's always ways around that, I suppose.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:18am
True, but the burden of proof is greater than as between unmarried couples.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:18am

<<There are things you remember the rest of your life and someone bouncing a check at your wedding is one of them.>>


That's what you remember on your wedding day?


Oh my.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:19am
"...some uptights..."? Present company excluded, of course?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:19am

Are you saying that your guests lied to you about forgetting

PumpkinAngel

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