Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:49am
No, the dollar dance wasn't being compared to rape. The question was, since we are not supposed to disapprove of the dollar dance because it is a custom that was originally from another country, should we also not disapprove of other customs (marriage to 12-yo's was an example) of other countries?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:49am
Why do people ask for clarfications?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:50am
Guess it wasn't the posts I have read then. Or are you claiming to know what posts I have read?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:50am

Seven man football, dh played it in high school in a rural farming community.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:51am

<The thing is though, when you start catering to other people's expectations/desires about YOUR wedding, you are in for no end of trouble. Aunt Susie who is hurt because she expected that you would have six flower girls, and her sextuplets are the perfect age. The whole issue of kids vs no kids at the ceremony and reception. The "will you have dancing and liquor" debate when half the family is southern Baptist and thinks that dancing and boozing are one-way tickets to hell. The cousin who doesn't want you to play a certain song at the reception because that was THEIR song and her husband just ran off with the L&D nurse. The aunt who won't come if you invite the second cousin who insulted her at a wedding back in 2004. The uncle who doesn't like sushi and won't come if you have it in the room because just looking at it makes him ill. The uncle who retired from the pastorate in 1979 and is deaf and whose prayers always last an hour, but who wants to do the closing prayer. The cranky guest who thinks buffets are outrageous. Sometimes you are just better off doing what YOU want to do, because it is, after all, your wedding. >


AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:51am
She said that she disapproves of other customs like men marrying 12 year olds, yes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 12:11pm
I certainly kept a list, but I never would have cross-referenced those who attended with whether or not they gave us a gift. I am fairly certain you would not have perused your excel spread-sheet and been miffed/put out by attendees who did not bestow a gift on you. I believe other posters would still have that spreadsheet out and be irritated 10+ years later that someone dared to come, as a guest, to one of their wing-dings and did not give an appropriately large gift. That was my point. When I throw a party, it is about my guests having a good time--not about me raking in loot.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 12:22pm

Right field, again was a question.


Again, the comments about MLB and the rules are accurate and were not false statements.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 12:23pm
We live in a pretty small town and with 4 I can't even count the number of times my husband and I have had to "divide and conquer" to be sure the kids had someone in the stands. In fact, there have been times when I have had to call in grandparental backups to make it all work. I have found myself perched atop bleachers overlooking two separated soccer fields while my older two were playing. I got really confused ;) And I was missing my younger two's soccer game which was being played at a different location. I agree with you on this...it just isn't possible.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 12:34pm
Absolutely that is one of the things I will never forget.

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