Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 8:41am

It's very possible that if they own a business, their expenses exceed their income.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 8:45am

believe it or not it's my ex-husband that keeps my car running. i'm sure that he'll let me know when it's time to just let my baby go....Hopefully, before that point, we will have given it to our son to drive (he turns 16 in August) in a year or two and I will get the "newer" car.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 8:46am
If your kids turn out to be drug dealers or addicts or otherwise non-productive members of society, will you be sorry you didn't WOH?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 8:48am
My kids are in a combination of school and other care for about 9.5 hours per day, each weekday.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 8:51am

Moot


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 9:14am

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Most adults could never handle 12-hour days in an office with the same faces, the same walls, the same "toys" and things to do, day after day, week after week, month after month. Why in the world would you even attempt to argue children can thrive under similar conditions?

Maybe you can bring this debate back to reality.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 9:15am
It's pretty common in my family to drive cars past the 10 year mark (we all tend to drive our cars until they drop dead of old age). Our 9 yo car is doing just great. We've had one electrical issue with it and that's about the extent of car repairs we've had to face. That one is a Toyota, and they do seem to last forever :-). I'm planning on having that around for at least another 6 or 7 years, if we still need a second car at that time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 9:17am
i wouldn't know. but when my hcild comes home and tells me something a friend told her,i listen and take what she says as the truth...i suppose i could just call her on it and say nah,you s/b jealous of that working parent's kid. that's something i don't allow you to do here because we go to nordstroms instead,yada yada. lol. ;)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 9:18am

Quiet time is not the same as being "forced to nap."

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 9:18am

I agree with what you've said and think it's wonderful you're doing an afterschool group with these children. If nothing else, these children need a break from the same building/grounds.

No one here will even concede she could handle a 12-hour day, every day, every week, in the same setting, especially the workplace. So, under different circumstances, we would all agree it is not healthy for the child. In fact, every one here is distancing herself from the 12-hour day for her own children, and no one will admit her child has been in dc 12 hours a day, every day, week after week.

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