Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:13am

It is your job to report what you have seen. It is the authorities' job to investigate and discover the facts.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:15am
there are optional boarding schools,though. don't you have some in indy? i know in cincinnati,there is a resident boarding school that allows local kids to commute to and from daily.....and i think that poster has acknowledged that she was *raised* in a boarding school. i took that to mean she was a resident there. i know if i woh,i would at least give the daycare my child spends most of her waking hours in a part of that same credit.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:24am

But during those 3 months, you would have not known that it was temporary. We didn't know how long we were going to have to do that schedule. It could have been the rest of the year, 8 months, as we moved the first of October. Dylan didn't transfer until the end of January.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:36am
Oh well, if we're talking about outdoor exercise, that's done every day...several times per day, regardless of rain or shine. Dd is not quite Swedish enough to appreciate that "there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing", she'd rather stay in when it's really pouring outside. The rest of the kids just shrug off the wet and play soccer anyway ;-).
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:37am

<there are optional boarding schools,though. don't you have some in indy? i know in cincinnati,there is a resident boarding school that allows local kids to commute to and from daily.....and i think that poster has acknowledged that she was *raised* in a boarding school. i took that to mean she was a resident there. i know if i woh,i would at least give the daycare my child spends most of her waking hours in a part of that same credit.>


What are you responding to?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:46am

<>


Curious, what age of children were discussing this?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:49am

2 of the small towns just outside our city borders, don't have high schools because they didn't have enough students. The students were bused to our city. However, now , one of the towns is building their first high school. The other town is still talking about it. That town has one k-8 campus. A number of mid-size cities have school districts that overlap San Diego city boundaries. So that students in one city could be going to school in San Diego city and vise versa.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:50am

At Dylan's daycare, lying down and resting quietly was manditory, unless the child was in Kindergarten, but actually falling asleep wasn't. I don't know how that could be enforced anyway.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:54am

I listen, as well, but I take what they say as the truth as they interpret it which could be wrong.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 11:01am

"Most adults could never handle 12-hour days in an office with the same faces, the same walls, the same "toys" and things to do, day after day, week after week, month after month. "

That is a bit of a stretch comparing a workay to a daycare day. The 12 hours in question are broken up by before school, during school and after school- plenty of different people to see and and do. Plenty of free time for the child to decide what he/she wants to do- not the case with a workday. Plenty of time to relax and read a book, play a game, run around and get excersize- never been able to do that where I have worked- you?

Plus, children of sahps spend more than 12 hours a day with their parents how do they handle being with the same person day after day? They don't even get weekends to be with different people. YOur argument does not hold water.

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