Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 4:15pm

"i can't imagine what that's like in *real* daycare settings. sad.

eta..and fwiw,i instruct a ymca swim program and make children and parents aware that i try to start and finish *on* time (just like shcool does)..i think daycare is different in the fact that they/we have an obligation to supervise until a parent arrives regardless of the rules they may stretch."

Why do you think daycare is so bad? There is time limits for the parents. If they are late, they get penalized by paying more. After a few times, they are asked to leave the program. Same as after-care.
You can not judge a situation unless you have used it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 4:47pm
It really doesnt matter whom it is a big deal to. It is illegal activity period. If I had a purse party like you do my DH would be fired without a thought to it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 4:49pm
What do you mean, YIKES? What would YOU do if you were determined that your kids remember you SAH?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 4:54pm
My dh is not a cop. I hate to tell you but the cops are the worst. The cop that lives around the corner from me always had the best fireworks. They are illegal by me. Where do you think the consfigated (sp?!) fireworks went? Right into the hands of cops.
Off-Duty cops are not going to be interested in a local handbag party in their neighborhood. Most of them do not get involved in minor things like this so they don't have a rift with the neighbors unless it is really serious.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 5:03pm

no, it's not a 12 hr. day. those are the extreme rarity here -- and generally those families who really do have NO other choice. it was however a 10 hr day -- right at your cut-off point.

carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 5:22pm

wow. now THAT's a really ridiculous comparison. IF i had to work a 12 hour day, it is WORK -- NOT fun time. I'm sure that between the before school portion of the program, the school day and the after school portion of the program that the kids are engaged in a whole host of activities above and beyond their actual school day. Before and after programs are structured to provide FUN activities for children. HOW in the world can that be a bad thing?

Carole

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 6:05pm

Whatever. Did you actually have an opinion, or did you just want to weigh in on your ability to catch typo's? And more interestingly, your ability to care to remember who made them when.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2006
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 6:17pm

I'm not saying you're wrong but a site I looked up spelled it "moot," so (if I understand the definition correctly) it is a moot point.


moot1


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Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 6:18pm

What are you talking about? This makes no sense. Iam not talking about the average WOHP and your mistaken, many children are left at school for 12 hours to be cared for."

Really? Personally I've never seen it, or heard of it. And whle my kids *are* in school, its preschool. 12 hours in school isnt the norm at ALL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 6:29pm
You're going to have to take that up with the writer of that fine song, Rick Springfield, though, by now the point is probably mute, no er...moot to him. Though making it mute is not a bad idea because I've got that stupid song going through my head.


Edited 6/11/2007 6:36 pm ET by currieri

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