Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 9:55pm
Not really. That cop is retired and the other one doesn't care what goes on unless it is extremely important and basically we tell him about it! There is another guy around the corner who is a cop but I don't know him and he basically keeps to himself. My gf's ex-fiance is a cop and he knew she was going to these parties.
Believe me, there are worse things they are going after like murders and drug dealers. Unless there is so many complaints about one person, they are not coming out for a pocketbook party. I can't even come down for speeding in a residential area and the main person doing it is on probation. They can't be bothered.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 9:56pm
Again there is no link there either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 9:57pm
Sorry, it is not a link but actually text from the website.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:00pm

<<>>

Do you think it is only the police that live around you that will or could bust you? They get tips all the time on these parties and DO in fact bust them.

http://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/counterfeit-handbag-lawyers.html

Manufacturers and distributors of knock off handbags can be prosecuted under state and federal law for violating trademark and copyright laws. The sentence for counterfeit crimes varies widely depending on the quantity and the value of the goods, but can be very serious. In June 2004, 17 defendants charged with international counterfeit trafficking in New York faced a maximum sentence of 10 years in prison and a maximum fine of $2 million.

So much for the theory they dont care.

<<>>

WOW! Really? Doesnt change the fact that you are indeed committing a federal offense and just because there are other crimes that are more important it doesnt change the fact that you are committing a federal crime.

<<>>

Doesnt change what I have said at all.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:02pm

Okay, 12 hours a day for a school aged child and 9 hours a day for a pre school (0-5) child is too much daycare. WHere is your line? Is 11 1/2 hours and 8 1/2 okay? 10 and 8? WHere do you draw the line for acceptable "othercare" hours?"

Absolutely agree. This was my main issue with this posters opinion. Totally arbitrary, and her own personal lines drawn in the sand. Personally I know what is *okay* for my family at the moment, but that's as far as my opinion on other care generaly extends (assuming its safe, etc). Its what works best for each family in terms of what's right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:05pm

I know all the stories about people getting busted. They get busted in my local flea market every few months. Doesn't stop them though. The market is getting larger as the woman I know had to hire 6 other people to help her. She has parties booked for months.

Who would call anyway on someone? Must be a pretty sad person who has nothing better to do with their time.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:10pm

I say definately go for it if you can afford a luxury car."

We've been able to afford them for 12+ years and...have never bought one:). I may buy one soon purely for work.

" My dh would never buy a mercedes because he used to work for a dealer and the brand new cars were constantly in the shop getting fixed."

Oh neither would we. They are cra-. The last few years in particular are horrible.

$1,500 to lease? That seems high but if you have gone shopping I believe it. I remember my bil telling me that he has people go into his dealership (high-end car) and pay $1,600/month without a blink of an eye."

These are the highest end models of the highest end "normal" (meaning not rolls royce, bentley, aston martin, etc) cars. So they are expensive. I can't *imagine* buying or leasing one if I couldnt totally afford it and afford to lose 15% the minute you drive off the lot in the case of a buy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:12pm

No, actually what I remembered was how a certain poster named mariadia60, the phone sex operator, kept harping at you about the typo. And when missdee007 started on the same track, it made me think she was the same person. A simple search of "mute" located the link.

My opinion is that posters that nitpick on typo's and try to find personal fault with other posters really aren't interested in debate, and I remembered being quite annoyed with the fact that a troll hijacked the discussion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:14pm
We have been buying "off lease" cars for the last 2 cars my dh has. They are basically brand new (my dh just bought a "newer" car and it was driven by an older teacher). It is a sports car but she drove it like an old lady (which I threaten my dh that he HAS to drive that way too-lol!).
My dh and friends are really into cars so they know everything you can imagine about them-lol!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 10:59pm

not sure i'm buying what you're selling..do you really know sahms who want their legacy t/b remembered that way? lol. if my kids haev any sort of connection with the words,stay at home mom,it's that i don't do something daddy or their friends parents do. and i would like to leave it that way......i think if there's a sort of determination to slam,it's to the wohm whose holier attitude is all aobut what her money can afford to buy. junior's full college ride will come back to smack you in the behind if that's not what he wants to do at 18. i see control and manipulation painted all over that. :)

 

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