Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 11:49pm

My opinion is that posters that nitpick on typo's and try to find personal fault with other posters really aren't interested in debate, and I remembered being quite annoyed with the fact that a troll hijacked the discussion."

Oops sorry. Didnt realize that. Yes I agree its annoying as all get out when someone goes after typo's vs. talking about the subject/ debate. Especially when given the context its obvious which moot (not mute) I meant.

MM

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 11:53pm

Hey a good friend of mine was reported to CPS by ... her MIL! Can you imagine? She had newborn twins at the time (they are now 6) and also had a very large dog, a great dane actually. Her MIL was terrified the dog was going to eat the kids. Anyway, she called CPS annonymously....but...was silly enough to ask her DIL a detail about the CPS visit she shouldnt have otherwise known and walla...she was outted.

Like you, they came back a few months later, and that was that.

MM

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 11:56pm

We have quite a few families in our school who make six fiqures and they recieve free lunch, free insurance for the children b/c they LIE and cheat

Do you see what I mean? "

Wow are you psychic too? Or work at the local bank? IRS? Otherwise, how would you *know* that?

"They do what is best for the child, not for themselves. Wy would any parent leave a child in school for ten plus hours when there are other options for the child that are much more positive and cost's you nothing but time giving back to your children in your community?"

Who made you the supreme judger of good parenting? Just curious cause you've put yourself on a mighty high pedastool.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 11:59pm

Ooh, good idea. Know where I can get some? It would come in handy at Dylan's bedtime. :)

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 12:04am

So is Dylan's.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 12:15am

When does the school day start? Dylan's school starts as 8am and gets out at 2:17pm. The high school, when Angela went, went from 7:30am to 2:15pm. The Y operates the before school from 6:30am (maybe 6am, I'm not sure) to when the school starts serving breakfast around 7:30am. Then reopens for the after school program, end of school to 6pm. And there are still monetary penelties for being late after 6pm. As the kids go home, staff is reduced. Most kids seems to leave between 4pm and 5pm.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 12:34am

> Let's see. Social security is related to work. Going to college is about finding a job someday. Health insurance is related to working status.

Work status is important. <

I doubt that those things are important to a 2 yo or even a 9yo. Those are adult reasons/concerns, not high priority items to young children. Since your op was about sah in order for your children to have sahm memories (highly paraphrasing here), then you have to list things that are important to children. Parents' work status, from what I have observed in my children and their friends, isn't one of them.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 1:06am
Do you think their memories of their father will be less precious to them because he WOH?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 1:21am
Heh.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2006
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 1:31am

"just curious cause you've put yourself on a mighty high pedestal."

You know, I was going to ask that too, but was afraid that would violate TOS somehow

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