Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


Picture003.jpgIMG_3599-1.jpg






Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photobucket

 &nb

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 10:06am
my kids have been in a k-4 school, and their school day started around 8:30 and ended around 3:45. the before-school program starts at 7 and the after-school program ends at 6. most kids arrive around 7:30 for the before program, and most leave soon after 5 for the after program (average commutes are pretty short here). in good weather about half of the kids in the program attend either only before or only after care, but in the coldest months, probably about two-thirds of the kids attend only aftercare, since several additional families enroll in aftercare to give them the opportunity to play in the gym after school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 10:30am

Your kids' school day is an hour longer than Dylan's.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 10:33am

Liza's afterschool program does not involve leaving campus as kids get picked up at all different times between 2pm and 5:30 depending on their parents schedules. At Liza's (catholic) school the first hour is devoted to homework, the kids have to get their work done before they can go out for their play time. in good weather they rotate the age groups between outside and inside activities -- they have movies playing sometimes, and the kids can bring out their game boys etc. at that time.

At the day CAMP she goes to which is also run by the school, they go on field trips every Tuesday and Thursday, they have out door time each day with inflatable pools and sprinklers and water games, on rainy days they have movies and other diversions and every Friday theyw alk for ice cream and have a 'theme day" like "rodeo/luau/ camp olympics/ camp talent show etc.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 10:36am

i gar-an-tee my kids wouldn't watch t.v. after school anyway.

we didn't use any before- or after-school care this year for the first time in four years. during the last two years we did use it, we didn't have any work-schedule-based need to do so whatsoever--the kids *wanted* to do it, and they begged us to sign them up for it after we initially didn't, because it gave them a variety of fun and active things to do and a variety of kids to play with after school. this year, without b&a, they didn't spend their time after school staring at blank walls (much less the t.v.) or cloistered in the house, but they sometimes clearly became bored of playing with the same, relatively small number of kids who live within walking distance in our neighborhood day after day after day. and, in exactly the same way that i found myself taking them the same places and doing the same things as they had gone and done in daycare when i became a sahp, i often ended up taking them to the same school playground that the b&a program was using after school, or signing them up for sports programs and classes that were scheduled on the school grounds after school and among the choices they would have had were they enrolled in the b&a program as someone who wasn't enrolled in b&a. no doubt there are some lousy b&a programs and options, but like any good childcare, a b&a program can provide as much or even more appropriate and comfortable environments as parents can at home. there are some things that kids can only get from home and parents, but a few hours of b&a is generally comparable to a few hours of free play at home, not to an outrageous work schedule.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 10:53am

my kids' district hasn't cut much at all from the specials. all the classes go to gym, music, music, art, and computer classes and the library 2-4 times (each) a week. they also have at least 2 outdoor recess periods (one during their lunch period) daily. a lot of surrounding schools have cut into these things out not only for monetary reasons but because they couldn't fit them timewise into days crowded by federal- and state-mandates. every time the topic has come up, the community has agreed that we would rather the kids spend more time at school than spend days on end with few or no opportunities to excercise their bodies and their souls between lessons.

that said, their day is only 20 minutes longer than that of the district with the shortest day in the larger metropolitan area. two of the seven districts in the immediate vicinity have school days that are a few minutes longer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 11:03am

Again, interesting defense.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 11:14am

<>

I didn't say it was. But having a party is, which is what I said.

<>

Again, I didn't say it was. I stated that she owns illegal goods.

<>

That's what I was referring to.

<>

Again, not the system I was referring to.

<>

That doesn't surprise me in the least.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 11:20am

Interesting isn't it?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 11:26am
I totally understand what she is saying. ANYONE can get caught. Would it deter me to have a party? Probably not. Would I be a salesperson?, no.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 11:27am
Glad you find it interesting.

Pages