Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 12:55pm

nah. count me as another who does not care in the least about the wohm vs. sahm status of individuals. Sure, I may inquire of someone I've just met "what do you do?" -- it's a point of conversation, but the answer makes no difference to me either way because NEITHER way is better than the other. I just don't care. I don't think most moms care either. Good parents do what they need to do for their WHOLE families.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 12:55pm

Oh okay, so if you otherwise live a lawful life, then it's okay to support criminal activity, because, in your mind, it's your one vice and doesn't really seem to hurt anyone.

So I guess if I *really* want that stolen pair of designer jeans that someone is selling off the back of a truck, then I should go ahead and buy them b/c I lead an otherwise lawful life and it's not really a serious crime like drunk driving and murder.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 12:57pm
Well I would not assume if thousands upon thousands of women are buying the fakes, the ones you see are probably not all real.
I went out one night to eat and just decided to check out everyone's bag. 90% of women (any age as the tweens are now carrying real and fake bags) had a designer bag. Did I know if it was real or fake? Of course not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 12:58pm
No, like I said, I would not be into anything else that is fake.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 1:01pm
LOL, not all heterosexual women go for hangbags and shoes. Except for being attracted to men, I am a walking lesbian stereotype. (don't shave, short undyed hair, berks, no makeup, liberal....)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 1:03pm
You keep missing the point that a counterfeit does not become ok simply because it is very skillfully made. This is why I kept bringing up currency forgery- which is frequently EXTREMELY skillfully made (or so I've read when there is a bust- if there was a phony in my wallet right now I wouldn't know how to spot it). The craftsmanship of the forgery is not the issue. The LEGALITY is.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 1:04pm

Heyyyyyy was that YOU I saw at Gay Pride in Boston this weekend? ;-)

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 1:07pm
What does the craftsmanship of a forgery have to do with anything? You are making it sound like a hard-to-spot fake is somewhow less illegal just because it is more carefully made than an easy-to-spot fake. This is why I keep bringing up counterfeit currency. The legality of something does not rest on whether or not the fake is well made.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 1:07pm

"The craftsmanship of the forgery is not the issue. The LEGALITY is"
Exactly. and less you think it's a "victimless" crime b/c the "rich designers can afford it" think again. Movie and dvd prices go up because of bootlegs, store prices go up because of shoplifting, insurance goes up b/c of fraud. My partner is a Private detective focusing on fraud, workmen's comp and insurance mostly, and she has seen it all and all thoses costs get passed on to the consumer. so why does that handbag cost $300? In part b/c Gucci, Dolce and Cabana et al have to spend so much time chasing down counterfeitors.

And just because a designer may be "rich" makes him or her no less deserving to be the sole proprietor of their creative design.

 

Yes. We. Did.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 1:08pm
Imean my previous post to go to hazeleyes -- I was agreeing with you --I am a victim of premature posting... ;-)

 

Yes. We. Did.

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