Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
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| Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm |
It struck me today that she might not.
I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.
She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?
She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....
I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.
Andrea







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I have a suspicion that some exceptionally expensive designer bags are ugly on purpose and that ugliness is a way of displaying extreme wealth. I decided this after reading a quote from Paris Hilton or some other very wealthy girl that she could afford to buy neon green pumps (an interviewer commented on them) because she didn't have to worry that a pair of very expensive shoes only matched one outfit that she would never wear again. She was saying that she was wealthy enough that 2,000$ (or whatever) shoes were essentially disposable to her and versatility was not a concern.
Then it hit me. The expensive bags are ugly ON PURPOSE because they broadcast the message "I have so much money that I don't need to make sensible purchases that match everything." Of course, this message gets pretty garbled when the purchaser actually doesn't have P.Hilton levels of money and really does need the bag to match more than one outfit. (And so then has to talk themselves into believing that it does, rather than cavalierly treating it as disposable as the actually rich do.)
You wouldn't have to pay as many tax dollars if you didn't support counterfeit goods.
Jennie
Off-hand, I can think of quite a few reasons I wouldn't care to use your "mom's group" rather than an established after-school care program. From what you have disclosed about your neighborhood, I would worry about some of the homes that are part of your group having older siblings or moms' boyfriends that might not be a good or safe addition to my child's life; I'd worry about drugs and guns in the homes; I'd worry about unqualified caregivers providing inadequate supervision; I would prefer a situation where people are qualified to help with homework and set up age-appropriate activities. I could go on. It's great if you are comfortable with the group you have established, but it wouldn't interest me.
You seem to want people to agree with you that people not choosing your mom's group are bad parents. That's very likely not the case.
Jennie
Actually, the OP did say that it was SAHP's and PTWOHP's using her school's care for 60 hours/week.
Have you ever observed your school's after-care program? Ours is pretty low-key and fun, and kids can choose what they want to do (or if they just want to veg out and read).
They should be doing both, and they do do both. They are usually pretty good about prioritizing these things. We don't need to do it for them.
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