Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:40pm
The line is that you can't just attack me. I am not the only one that buys things without finding out where they were made, or who is making them. No one wants to justify that they do the same thing because they will be the "outsider" like myself. I am sure I am the only one on this board who has ever did anything wrong. Very surprising to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:41pm
Nope - except when I am going to go to my mom's or sister's. 2 -3 times a year max. One reason is a practical reason- it keeps me out of the E.R. Another is that I have never really seen the point of it.


Edited 6/12/2007 4:42 pm ET by janetlynn_64
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:44pm

So anything from Wal-Mart would be just fine?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:45pm

"Why can't you have both? It's called having a balance, saving and spending."

Exactly, one could spend $50 on a nice bag and save $250 more for ones retirement.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:47pm
Because I like the looks of certain brands. When I bought my wedding dress, it was a knock off of an expensive dress. Should Eve of Milady sue the other wedding dress maker because they made a dress 1/2 the price so more people would buy it? While they were not using the Eve of Milady name, it was the same concept.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2007
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:50pm
No, it's not the same concept.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:50pm
I think when you need two incomes to pay all your regular bills, you haven't balanced enough on the "savings" side of the scale to be that extravagant.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:51pm

<<The line is that you can't just attack me. >>


Excuse me?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:51pm
What do you consider wealthy, in your family, in general terms of net worth?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:52pm
I have no problem with that. If the bag you like is $50 go for it. Why should I buy something for $50 just to save the money? I don't see the concept if you are already saving and can afford something more expensive.
Like I said I believe you need to spend AND save. My dad never made it to retirement. Yes, it is great that my parents saved up for years and now my mother is able to have extra money but he never got to really enjoy it fully. He saved and saved, while only splurging when they got older (10 years maybe).

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