Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:53pm
I wouldn't want someone ripping off my design either though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:54pm

"Why should I buy something for $50 just to save the money?"


Because I thought you wanted to be able to SAH or build up your savings more than having a designer bag.


Just curious, is the only way you think you'll be able to SAH when you have more income?


Did you ever consider that if your dad hadn't "saved and saved," your mother might now be in much worse financial shape and have to come out of retirement?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:55pm
If you have no savings and both paychecks go to bills, then yes, you can not afford it. We save every week, savings, 401K and IRA. We also have separate savings for things that might come up, car repairs, medical, home things. I personally will never take $200 out of that money to buy a bag but some might feel they are doing well enough that they can.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:55pm

<<Because I like the looks of certain brands.>>


Yes as I said, I understand that.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:56pm
You seem to attack everyone on this board that does not agree with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:57pm

Whether you can afford something is dependent on your overall net worth and financial goals, not your income.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:58pm
I have no clue of net worth but I guess homes that are worth a million dollars, luxury cars that are paid off, being able to travel, having enough money in the bank to take care of yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:59pm

<<You seem to attack everyone on this board that does not agree with you. >>


Again, where did I

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:59pm

Yep.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 5:01pm

I have not bought a new bag in 9 months and I was on vacation at that time

I know I will not be able to sah unless my dh gets a huge raise and medical. We can't possibly afford to live on one income even if we saved every penny we made.

I absolutely know that if my parents did not save my mom would not be comfortable. He was saving for them and he never got to enjoy retirement.

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