Will my child remember that I was a SAHM

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Will my child remember that I was a SAHM
3712
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 7:47pm

It struck me today that she might not.


I was sure I was doing the best thing for my children by staying home with them (two daughters-3 years old, and 4 months old). As I was talking to a dear aunt of mine (whose daughter is a working mother, since her infant was 12 weeks old), I felt my defensive bristles go up.


She went on and on about how "If she could do it all over again....she wouldn't have stayed home....." Then she told me a story in which her ds said to her, "mom, did you stay at home with us, or did you drop us off at daycare?" She almost died when he asked her that, because she stayed at home with her ds and dd until he entered kindergarten. Granted, many kindergartners haven't formed lasting memories by that age yet...but still. It got me thinking; is this ALL WORTH IT?


She was using it in her argument against staying at home. I have a Masters Degree in Counseling that I am not using. My career lies dormant at this time. We don't have cable, newspaper service, vacations, frills of any kind, new cars, etc. because of our money situation. We are middle-class and have sacrificed SO MUCH...only for me to hear from my aunt that..."her daughter needs to work to maintain their lifestyle." Yeah, driving a Volvo, she probably does....


I just need to hear from some of you who frequent this board and have solid opinions one way or the other on this topic.


Andrea

Two Delicious Daughters Call Me "Mommy!"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 12:54am
Where's the attack? You openly admit and express PRIDE in the fact that you support thieves and counterfeiters in order to feed your own vanity. How is it an attack for pumpkinangel to say the same thing?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 12:56am
Good lord, I DON'T!!! LOL. I certainly aspire to a great deal more than that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 1:59am

As someone who is 38 years old - graduating from college in 11 days with 3 children - one who will be graduating from high school next year... I can honestly say I wish I had worked when they were little. I would think with your degree you could even find a decent part time position. I have a friend who worked Tuesday- 8 hours, Wednesday - 10 hours and then 8 hours on Thursday. She shared the job with someone who had the same education. It worked well and she was able to be financially help save money for college.

I can honestly say - I wish I had the earning potential you have earlier in my life. I wish almost daily that I could turn back the hands of time to have money for their college and to have done family vacations and heck some weeks just to buy groceries. I have limited my kids choices through just getting by. From my own psychological work in school - you children will need you to be present more through middle and high school and no matter the amount of time nothing can replace true connection with our children. You can do that whether you are working full or part time or not at all.

I know you have a ton of messages but good luck - do what feels right. Having more money for the family is not about stuff it is about choices!

Courtney

Courtney

There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day... there's a great big beautiful tom

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 5:21am
Yes, that would make a difference. The k-2 grade kids are usually out between 12.30-1.30, so there is usually quite a bit of time left over for outings. If a trip is planned, it usually starts around 1.30 and the kids are back by 4.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 5:23am
About 23-24 hours per week right now. Swedish schools start the kids off quite gently. The hours gradually increase each year until about 7th or 8th grade, when the kids are usually in school for 35+ hours per week (often starting at 8am and stopping at 4pm).
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 5:26am
The before/after school care doesn't run much longer at ds and dd's school, despite the fact that the vast majority of parents WOH. It goes from 7am to 5.30pm. It used to go until 6pm, but so few children were left after 4pm that the hours were cut.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 6:37am

it does matter to a certain extent or you wouldn't know the working status of moms your boys go to camp with,to school with,etc..."so,what do you do.." is very much a common introduction to conversation. and that's all i read babyheartbeat's point to mean. ymmv.

>>Are you claiming that a happy childhood depends on a having a sahm<<
well,gee. sometimes it does...i'm happier sah. and a mom happy in her element does breed sweet,happy children who are happy in their element.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 6:40am
that's probably why mine *doesn't* fall apart....you know,replacing $20.00 purses does add up over time. lol.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 6:45am

Interesting point. ABS by Allen Schwartz is a very, very popular dress manufacturer/"designer" who shamelessly markets many of his dresses as Oscar night knock-offs. ABS sells at Neimans and elsewhere.

http://www.absstyle.com/

(Link is provided for Ikat's benefit.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 7:49am

Thanks, I guess, but why my benefit?

 

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