WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 9:25am

The previous day had also been in the 80's and she also wore a sweatshirt. My theory was that I'd let her do it because she'd see how uncomfortable she was. I brought a tshirt to the playground so I'd be ready when she had her comfort revelation. Instead, she played hard in the aweatshirt in mid-80's weather and refused every offer of the tshirt. Her face was red, sweat was pouring off her. The sweatshirt was damp. I finally told her that she was forbidden to play anymore in the sweatshirt and that if she wanted to play a minute longer, she had to put on the tshirt instead. She declined and we went home. I then caught her with her head in the fridge trying to cool off. Still wearing the sweatshirt. Since I now know she'd rather be miserably uncomfortable than cave, I pre-emptively required the tshirt.

She's been this way since she was 2. For all I know, she was this way younger than that, but I just didn't know what she was crying about. In the Fall, we'll have the same hill to die on as we go the other direction. She'll be in tshirt mode and the tempurature will plummet and climb alternately and she will rather freeze than put that sweatshirt back on so we'll have the opposite (but really the same) fight all September.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 9:35am
Some people can't do a thing to modify their reaction to stress, because they absolutely won't consider doing anything about it themselves. No initiative, no adjusting. They expect others, from husbands to toddlers, to accomodate their desires. And stress when that doesn't happen. Its not even stress such as "Gosh I don't know how to manage the cranky non-napping 2 yr old! I've tried everything." Its "Oh woe is me. My 2 yr old give me the break I need." Rather than looking for ways to deal with an issue, some people make an issue of the fact that they have an issue. And that would be their very own issue to deal with - but they never seem to want to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 9:39am
Sounds like I've got a better job than you. I've been a microbiologist for 18 years and the only part I DON'T love is tracking down doctors who have traded beepers with each other. This accounts for about 15-30 minutes out of an 8 hour workday. And I've never loved meetings- which accounts for about one hour out of every month. I'm living what you think is a myth.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 9:43am
That novel. You've imagined a 2 yr old who is allowed to sleep other than in her bed at nap time - will cause a frat party to break out at your residence and all the drunk stoned people will crash there. Of course, most of us would associate this image "and picture a house with a bundle of people lying on the floor in various rooms" with morning after a wild time. Not with - 2 yr old chose own nap time today. How do you do that? Is it hard? Do you have to try to come up with this stuff, or does it just present itself to you with no effort at all?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 9:56am

Oh, then you would have laughed coming into my house yesterday after our big campout! There were kids (and a hungover dh) sleeping everywhere. On the floor, on the couch, in my bed, on the deck lounger and at one point, one out in the car. I suppose it would have been nice if people had been sleeping in their beds but I was just glad they were sleeping! (On the other hand, some of them were pretty filthy and I didn't necessarily want them sleeping in their beds dirty.)

On weekends when we've determined our children need to take rests, we really don't care where they do it. We keep the house quiet during siesta time and the whole house is a sanctuary for about two hours. It is peaceful and calming and of course, I think it is an okay way to live. (I'll bet that you'll be more open to the idea in a few years.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 10:00am
Its says nothing more than moms have reasons to hire babysitters. Perhaps they just have things that are more fun to do without kids in tow, are only possible to do without kids in tow, or are more efficient to do without kids in tow. It doesn't mean they are trying to escape from the kind of stress you have. They may well not have that kind of stress at all. Personally...if I had been a sahm of means or even a mother on maternity leave of means...I'd have hired sitters regularily so I could go cycling or skiing. Not to escape from anything. Not being of sufficient means I used a drop in daycare to cover the odd errand run that was going to be much more efficient without kids in tow. Not every mom needs to escape from what you need to escape. Some moms aren't stressed by their kids and some moms maintain non-kid-centric interests they'd like to persue. They use babysitters for entirely different reasons than you imagine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 10:10am

<>


ROTFLMAO


First of all, they rarely nap at the same time, maybe overlaping an hour sometimes. Second of all, I don't watch daytime tv.


Why is it okay for dc providers to have mandatory

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 10:11am

Well, then, ya better sit down and get the smelling-salts handy.


I would usually agree with John that he did NOT happen to need a nap (any time he decided he didn't), but that he did need *rest* and would be obliged to sit on his bed for an hour.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 10:17am

Let me try

<>

As a one time thing - who cares. As a regular thing well we will generally give it a shot...see if the child is ready for a later bedtime or not. Usually they are by the time they're asking, and they usually move to it over time. Starting with a couple nights a week. We really do find that sleep requirement vary throughout the year anyway.

<>

Well we don't do desert but if they want a second snack before bed, once in awhile, again, who cares. If the request is a regular thing - they get more for supper. Unless there is some portion issue that could be adjusted. Certainly the 8 and 11 yr olds don't get the one little scoop of icecream babies and toddlers had. Sometimes these adjustments are reasonable. Again, we find dietary requirements vary throughout the year.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 10:24am

Good camping trip? Everyone have fun?


See, everyone crashed everywhere *is* cute and nice. With that particular post I had a picture in mind of my friend's sil's kids who are all under 4 and never put to bed and the parents have guests a lot and the kids are trying to sleep under tables and such. Sounds cute and looks cute when you find a little one snuggled under the table, but I always feel bad for them. I didn't have a tired bunch of campers in mind on a Sunday afternoon.


Meldi

Meldi

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