WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 2:06pm
No you aren't. Unless you grew working in microbiology lab, as a tech, hoping against hope that you could some day make a living at it. You merely have a job which you like.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 2:10pm

Not dogma, but while I have hot button issues. . .they're not related to my controlling my children, per se.


My hot button issues are related to social & emotional development, predominantly.


If ds wants a second dessert, then he can make a healthy snack choice if it's been a reasonable amount of time since he last ate.


My oldest dd has a friend who I've had to learn to like. . .she's not an unsavory child, but she was unkind do dd in their younger years and I'm having to learn to like her again.

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 2:18pm

My kids had chocolate croissants today for breakfast and asked for ice cream later today, and I said "no." Because I do feel strongly about how much sugar they eat in the course of a day. They tried a little negotiation, saw it wasn't going to work, and bowed out gracefully, even though they are overtired and overstimulated. No casulties.

Our home is open to whoever the kids bring home as friends. If I think that a certain child is a bad influence, we talk about it, limit the places they have contact, make an effort to make sure our child has a lot of social interaction with more appropriate friends, and nine times out of ten, they get tired of being mistreated by the child in question. The tenth time, the child in question realizes that his/her behavior is out of line with our family standards and adopts behavior that is more in line with our expectations. Either way, not a significant problem.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 2:19pm

I haven't been able to change my own definition of 'fun', I guess. Something else to work on.


I don't know if I'll ever think it's as fun to hang out with a bunch of kids and parents as it is to just hang out with adults. It's different fun, it's not the anti-fun, but it's not AS fun.


And I don't think it's true that I 'don't qualify' for having fun without kids, just because I have them and other people have them too. I think that it's important to have fun without the kids in tow. But to say that I'm not doing it right (how I would be able to 'do it right', I'm not sure) is simply not true. We get together with groups of friends and other moms and their kids on a weekly basis. I'm doing it as 'right' as I can.


But I would still prefer to hang out on the deck with my girlfriends and some cards and a bottle of wine.


Meldi

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 2:21pm
QM observes that the 2 yr old in quesetion sees things QMs way - not the mother's way. As QM has explained, the mother is creating her own misery. Hopefully she enjoys it. The mindset will provide lots more of this to come. Toilet training should be a hoot for starters.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 2:24pm
I would have had my kid dress appropriately for the weather and then tell him he could wear the sweatshirt over the t-shirt if he wanted. Then when he got outside and was miserably hot, he could take it off without losing face. No hill, no problem.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 2:30pm
I don't know what your climate is like. In mine, most of the time, by the time I'm comfortable in shorts and a tshirt, if I do any running around at all, sweat is going to be pouring off me. No matter what I'm wearing. Its more about making sure there is a water bottle around, then it is about making sure the sweatshirt is off as far as health and safety go. In fact, given that my weather, especially this time of year, varies drastically day to day and morning to night, I find it prudent to encourage my children to take extra clothes, that they may learn to be prepared. I would not have a fight over a sweatshirt. I'd take the tshirt if the child didn't want it under, and say "ok, well maybe its still cool. If you get to hot you can have this tshirt". Because that how my kids need to learn to think.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 2:39pm
Its pretty simple. Team sports aren't officiated by committee. Its not a democracy. There is no vote. Majority doesn't rule. What the athlete thinks doesn't count. A quality official will not give the young athletes any opportunity to develop any sort of perception that things are otherwise. Neither will a quality coach. The officials, it will be explained at the outset, are there because if they aren't, nobody can agree on what happens becuase it looks differnt from every spot on the field of play and the game will be one big arguement. The officials, it will be explained, will not always get it right but they will most of the time. The officials it will be made clear, are not to be hearing from the athletes. Accepting the officilas decisions is part of the game. Dealing with circumstances where officials are not operating up to par is the job of the coaches and should be something for which there are established escalation procedures.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 2:43pm
<<...Obviously other mom's with em.>> I can spot a fake set from a mile away. That is why I wouldn't consider implants, they look fake.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 2:44pm
Its that control thing again. You don't "change your definition of fun". That implies all kinds of weird things. You live your life and let yourself experience new things. Your definition gets expanded as you have fun. Not changed. You can't decide TO have an expanded definition but you can decide NOT to.

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