WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 3:08pm
So what was the point - to recover your losses or to have her feel the consequence. They don't happen at the same dollar value after all. Its always good to have the end result in mind when dealing with children.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 3:15pm
No matter how you arrange things, kids cost $$$. "Stuff" really does happen. Windows are broken, items are lost. The consequence was felt. Whether it makes any difference, only time will tell.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 3:16pm

Huh? I didn't GROW UP working in a microbiology lab. Who would hire a 12 year old? I grew up owning and using a microscope and acing and loving all my biology courses and attending Science Camp as a kid and loving that too. There is nobody who will HIRE a child microbiologist, so those who love it must make do with what's available in and out of school. I have a job that I love. I am pursuing my passion. The mere fact that nobody would HIRE me when I was a 12yo with a microscope means I'm not living the dream...how?

Face it. It just kills you that lots of people are holding exactly the jobs they always wanted, sometimes since childhood. If you aren't, that's your own problem. But it doesn't mean your inability to find a job pursuing your passion is universal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 3:20pm
The 2yo in question might prefer eating lunch off the floor or sleeping on the dining room table. Doesn't mean she gets to. That's where parenting comes in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 3:29pm
I've known some people that I would have never guessed had them if they didn't tell me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 3:42pm

Why would it take two parents to tend to one child?

BTW, nice (but incorrect) guess to attribute this to having one child. There are very many parents of multiple children who create very few hills. It's probably an even better idea the more kids you have.




Edited 6/6/2005 4:13 pm ET ET by dogma_2
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 4:09pm

Sure is. There are enough hills on the road of life as it is. I highly recommend making as few more as possible.

"What if ds hasn't eaten a good dinner and still wants a second dessert?" Chances are good very high that he would not have had a first dessert. We don't have it that often here anyhow. (But I strongly agree with a former post of Lois' to the effect of it being optimal sometimes to have strawberry shortcake FOR dinner. On purpose.) But anyhow. What happens here is, he's always, always welcome to stop eating whenever he wants. If we're planning on having a dessert right after dinner, he will be told whether or not he's going to be getting any. Sometimes that provides incentive. Other times it doesn't. It matters nothing to me whether it does or it doesn't, as it's not my job to get him to eat anything. He gets to decide for himself whether it's worth it. No hill, no argument required. (And if it were strawberry shortcake, heck, I'd be very pleased to give him some no matter how little dinner he had had. A bit high in sugar, but it would be worth the tradeoff on occasion to have him eat some fruit. He's not a huge fruit fan.)

"What if he insists on being friends with a child of whose character you don't approve?" I'm not all that keen on his "best friend." It is not my job to be keen on his "best friend." It is my job to make sure DS understands how he is to behave and that how anyone else does, does not excuse anything he does. He does. No hill.

I have plenty of things about which I feel strongly. I have almost none which require an argument with a child. How can you have so many hot buttons?




Edited 6/6/2005 5:17 pm ET ET by dogma_2
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 4:10pm
My child plays on a recreational league, not a competitive one. They emphasize fair play and are not supposed to argue with officials in any way, but the officials are volunteers, and they do sometimes ask the kids what their perception of what happened was. It's a big league and as far as I can tell, no one is really unhappy with the way things operate. If my kid ever gets into competitive baseball, things will be different.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 4:15pm
Please accept my humble apologies for really liking what I do. I actually don't enjoy myself at it just so as to irritate you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 4:17pm
You're right -- the most easy-going mothers I know, the ones who seem to be enjoying this parenting gig the most among my friends have several children -- my current real life role model has five; three of whom are out of the house and have turned into great people.

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