WOH and sleeping issues
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WOH and sleeping issues
| Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am |
We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.
I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

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So, just so we are clear:
You never, ever do anything without ds (like go to the bookstore or clothes shopping) just because you want some time alone? If it's possible to complete the desired task with ds tagging along and he is available, he comes along? And it was like this always, even before he was in school?
Meldi
I'm sorry. I re-read the posts and I misunderstood. I didn't mean to imply I had a WWIII yet. Or that the sleep issue could bring about a WWIII.
But I meant to say that with pre-verbal children, lots of issues can reach miserable proportions for the parent because you cannot reason with the child and may not even understand a child's thought processes.
I know another woman in mom's club, with 5 kids, homeschools and eternally breastfeeds. She is the pinnacle of motherhood.
I think most of the moms and dads who choose to create large families should have (and probably do) a certain way with children and crisis-management and such, don't you think? I know I wouldn't want 8 kids because I have a hard enough time with the two babies, lol. So, I'm not going to have 8 kids.
I wanted 2 kids because I wanted my dd to have a sibling...that's the #1 reason. Do I have the same skills as the person who chooses to create a larger family? I don't think I do. One child would have been a lot easier for me to handle. But, since the baby stage is
Now, listening to children's music on a trip would have made me want to drive off a bridge, LOL. I'm talkin', pump up The Who and drown 'em out. Sometimes the surprise of something louder than they are, whether it be music, a crowd, or the vacuum cleaner, activates some sort of a shutoff switch for kids. That's how kids fall asleep during fireworks demonstrations and Christmas parties. And I figured, he's a baby. He's supposed to cry some every day. That's what they do. He might as well do it in the car on the way to something I'm going to enjoy as do it at home.
I guess I had advice extremely early on that helped me get over the notion that it was my job as a parent to "fix" whatever it was that was making DS cry. Remember that stage very early on where kids don't even cry real tears or open their eyes when they're howling? I remember telling my mom that I was eager for him to be able to express the problem so that I could try to do something about it, and that it bothered me that he couldn't even understand that I was trying to do something about it. She gave a big guffaw and said that if I thought that was rough, just wait until he IS old enough to express the problem and there's STILL nothing I can do about it and he sees that there isn't. Oh. She's right. This is the easy part, I'm trying to make it harder than it is. All I'm supposed to do right now is what I'm doing - check for the obvious, then show him I won't lose control and I'll hold onto him, physically and emotionally, no matter what he's going through. I AM doing it right. He's just doing his baby thing right now. OK, no more problem.
You might be surprised about the ease of having a one-child family. Sure, logistics are usually easier. There are a lot of things that are harder that people who haven't done it overlook. Most especially, there is NO one else in the house for them to talk to but YOU. If they want to interact with someone, you either have to track someone else down, or you're it, or they're out of luck. They need help with their computer game? No older sibling to ask, no person in the family any child gets to take the pride of helping learn something new. Sometimes I had to get one of DS's friends over to visit just so that I could get something accomplished!
I'm a large family parent trapped inside a small family, LOL. I didn't adopt a rescue border collie and a rescue border collie mix because more serenity and less commotion would be less stressful for me. ;-)
Perfect example because nothing fazes you. Nothing at all. I'm sorry that you weren't blessed with a larger family.
On car trips, no matter how many times I tell myself, "They just have to cry, nothing you can do about it." and turn up the radio, I still stress. My bp goes up and the pedal goes down. Faster I can get out of the car, the better. I try to find the humor in it and dh and I may chuckle for a moment, but inside, I just can't stand it.
Sometimes I'm a no-baby person trapped in a two-baby family, lol.
Meldi
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For 29, I'm looking and feeling pretty old.
For 40, not so bad.
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