WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 9:15am

This was one of Petey's bedtime stories recently!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 9:16am
If my normally easygoing child is melting down, he needs less stimulation.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 9:17am
Quite telling, because objectively there are negatives for even the most devoted parent.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 9:20am
If a child chose a friend of whom "I don't approve" I would hrug, maybe warn. If any child, approved or not, causes any sort of issues for my child, that results in a talk with my child and possibly some advice and if applicable a warning. So far I have never had cause to disapprove of any friend of either child. I can't imagine disapproving of a friend at the onset of a friendship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 9:27am

Or that *I* know that the child is crying and whining

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 9:29am

No I wouldn't.

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The child will get advice on dealing with the situation. Not all friendships are completely rosy all the time. This is life. They have to learn to deal if they want friends.

No it isn't
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Its part of over controling parenting.

Exactly.
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Neither do I and guess what - without having to have my mommy step in! Mind you - whats with this inner circle of friends? I just have friends. Don't categorize them by any sort of circle location. Anyway. Can you guess how I learned to handle all this - and without circles even? Thats right, by having the option to experience the behaviour of less than stellar friends as a young person. I suppose I was probably a less than stellar friend myself upon occassion. So not only did I learn what a good friend acted like towards me, I learned how to be one. And now I don't have to spend time categorizing my friends them so I can keep them straight. I think I must be much better at this than you are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 9:30am

Not even if your child decided to befriend a known thug in the neighborhood? Sure, you child knows that the other kid is a thug, but sorta thinks he's cool and wants to rebel a little and take a walk on the wild side...


meldi

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 9:41am

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Well I guess because I live with a fairly reasonable husband, fairly reasonable kids, in a fairly reasonable society. I have had issues. We took our 3 day old to the mall, stopped at the food court. I went to get food, turned around saw my husband behind me in line. He left the baby in her stroller out of sight "saving a table". He also once drove our 2 yr old in the front seat of his work van with no seatbelt, and once in the front of my rx7. These behaviours are entirely acceptable where he was raised. Unfortunately, we weren't there. Quite frankly in these areas it was my way, or the highway. If they'd been ongoing, I'd be divorced and probably with full custody. This sort of behaviour causes yelling and I figure leaves very little doubt as to whether or not I fully intend to die on this hill. There are only so many times one can threaten to die on a hill, remain alive and expect to be taken seriously.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 9:59am
Come again?

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 10:06am
By the time any child can be categorized as a known thug, if my child is befriending said person we will be quite a ways past the point where mommy can do a thing about it. Whatever chance mommy had to influence her child she either missed or wasted. Maybe she never had the option in the first place. But things are now way past the point where the thug is going to be the subject of discussion. All - discussion - would focus on my own child's responsibility for his/her own actions. And include reminders like "please rest assured that mommy and daddy won't bail you out should the need ever arise".

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