WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 4:34pm

So when exactly do the parents stop adjusting and the children start?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 4:48pm
No, I don't think it's selfish if the childrens' needs are met.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 4:50pm
The children start adjusting when they are biologically capable of doing so.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 5:13pm
My children have, over the years, brought home several kids whose M.O. centers on being manipulative, stuff like "Go ask your Mom if we can have some candy. If you don't I won't be your friend." I think my job as a parent is to observe, to point out to the child what I observe, and to help the child deal with that kind of behavior and manipulation in a positive manner. I cannot protect my child from people who try to manipulate him (although by not having a TV during their tender years we protect them from somewhat from those who do it professionally until they are old enough to recognize it for what it is). We don't believe in closing our home to our kids friends. Quite the oppposite. As I have said, these "friendships" don't tend to last very long unless the child in question changes his or her ways. The same holds true for me. There are people whom I have to deal with who are nasty, manipulative, narcissistic, whatever. They don't tend to become close friends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 5:27pm

What's unhealthy about putting a child in a pack n play upstairs at someone's house so that you can continue to enjoy the party downstairs?


We did this all the time when our kids were still small enough to sleep in a pack n play.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 5:28pm
My guess is that the most likely reason a child would want to befriend a thug later on in childhood would be because he or she has been so controlled up until that point that suddenly he or she realizes that if they adopt a truly unsuitable friend, Mom and Dad can't do a thing about it. and that rebellion feels good. The child who has had practice choosing friends, negotiating difficulties in those friendships, and being allowed to make a few mistakes along the way is going to be at an advantage at 13 or 14 or so when they are much less likely to be affected by parental advice or desires. Hard as it may seem, I think it's really important to allow our kids to make some dumb decisions and fail in safe circumstances at 5 or 6 or 8. The consequences are much less severe than if they do it at 13 or 14 or older.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 5:32pm
Thankfully we've never had to deal with head lice(so far). My girls all have blonde hair, I'd have to shave their heads!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 5:33pm

Sounds quite stifling if you ask me.


My older children don't need to be supervised as closely as yours, I presume, because they know what the rules are and follow them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 5:34pm
How's counselling with your ds going, btw?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 5:35pm
My children wake up every 2 or 3 hours the rest of the night if they are moved once they've fallen asleep. For them to be healthy, they need to be put to sleep once and not moved the rest of the night.

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