WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 6:19pm
There is another reason to befriend a thug. Some kids (and adults!) are "savers". They don't look at the thug and see somebody who will shock mom and dad. They look at the thug and see something good underneath that they think they can pull out. They want to help. They see a downward spiral and want to stop it, want to be the person who puts the brakes on. Naturally I say this because I BTDT in my youth. The parental advice wasn't "I won't bail you out" (why would it be, my parents knew exactly what I was doing), but rather "you can't save everyone".
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 6:23pm

Lord, if that's the standard of good parenting, I'm surprised I haven't been forcibly sterilized. Not ONLY do (and did) we run out of milk regularly, but we run out of lots of others things too AND we do all this in the face of such regular daily visits to the grocery store that when I *didn't* go to Giant last Saturday, the cashier asked me on Sunday if I'd been sick, cuz they were worried.

And still ended up raising a kid who's employable. Imagine that.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
flat in others,
and really annoying when it's stuck in your head."

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 6:28pm
I was fazed by toddler poop painting. Grossed out, really.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 6:28pm
Actually I can kind of see that coming in my younger son. He brings home sick cats, wounded birds, has a keen sense on injustice, and befriends all the kids who don't get chosen first for teams or who can't get their times tables right to save their lives. Some of them have atrocious social skills because they haven't had a lot of modeling of good relationships and the way to treat friends. Some of them are already "users" who try to manipulate him into doing things like giving them his toys. We've had a lot of long conversations about protecting boundaries and setting limits and when a friend isn't really being a friend. Right now, at nine, he tells me everything about his friends' problems and values my input in helping to solve them or explain them or just plain learn to live with them. I am a little bit scared, truthfully, about what happens at 14 and he's not quite as likely to trust me to understand. I can only hope and pray that this intensive period of learning, getting hurt a little sometimes, etc,. pays off as he grows older and I hope, wiser.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 6:31pm

I think I win the prize, tho. In addition to my long standing history of grocery shopping daily for the stuff I meant to get yesterday, today I had to stop at Target to buy the antifreeze I forgot yesterday. And tomorrow I need to go back to get the kitty litter I forgot tonight....

And technically speaking, I'm a Mother to none (according to those who delight in discounting anything I might offer on the grounds that my child is grown)

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
flat in others,
and really annoying when it's stuck in your head."

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 6:32pm
My dd has done that "look, a cat on a leash" thing with bitty dogs too. I'm tempted to correct her and say "no dear, it's a rat". Dang things do bark, though. Hope it didn't keep you up with yip yapping.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 6:33pm
The answer is that they're you're friends. So take the rock out of the kid's mouth and stop keeping score. One day you won't be perfect and they'll take a rock out of your kid's mouth.
Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 6:34pm
I've never yet had it not work, either. In fact, I've never yet socialized with other adults who wouldn't just stop the kid from running with a fork, or get the rock out of the kid's mouth. It's called civilization.
Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 6:36pm

<>

Why, don't be silly, that's COMPLETELY selfless on PNJ's part!! You *know* how much she hates regular schedules and being able to have guaranteed time to herself at night, beginning precisely at 7:01pm. She HATES it! Always has. It's a complete sacrifice to her personally, but she does it selflessly and sacrificially....ALL for the sake of her children......She gets NOTHING out of this. not one little bit.

It is we who are selfish...selfish to the core and we should be ashamed......

::::eye roll, in case you can't tell....::::

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
flat in others,
and really annoying when it's stuck in your head."

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 6:41pm
Yup. I will use my mother's technique, which was to give us "something to do" when we said we were bored. So we'd end up doing chores. It only took once or twice before we figured out how to entertain ourselves.
Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.

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