WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 8:17am

And I keep telling you that it's just not that way for my child. She doesn't sleep in the car, the stroller or in other people's beds. And it is NOT from the lack of trying. And I KNOW when she's tired.


Meldi

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 8:19am
I think you're looking at them from the wrong perspective, so to speak. Women know they look fake, but I don't think men care. DH still thinks Pamela Anderson is hot. Some men have low standards about natural beauty. And obviously that doesn't speak well for me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 8:19am

Thank god for my timer. If only I could hook up and IV drip by my bedside.


Meldi

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 8:27am

When we are with Aspen's cousins, I send her into the playroom with them (they are 3 1/2) and let it go. How else am I going to find out if she 'can' behave? The playroom is safe and believe me, if there is problem, she comes out and lets me know. And at this point, there's a problem a regular intervals, lol.


I can't wait till Vivi can join them. I will not hover. I can't wait to not hover.


Meldi

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 8:27am
No, I don't get so wound up I can't sleep unless my brain was busy reviewing or predicting. Babies don't do that to themselves. The only other time is when I am in a totally new environment - like a hotel. In which case I'm not wound up...my sleeping brain just keeps processing all the sensory input as "new and worthy of note". But even if its a new hotel every night, only the first one or two have an impact, even though they all tend to be very different. Brains adapt fast to what constitutes "unusually different and worthy of note even while sleeping". Its a survival instinct. A baby who sleeps away from home a few days a week is going to have zero trouble sleeping away from home. Its just the way it works. Mind you, we aren't a silly family. If we've been driving all day, sitting in a car, we makes sure to have a swim in the evening so that we are all physically relaxed for bed. If we've been at amusements parks all day we take the trouble to watch a little tv before bed, or relax on a balcony, or something. Nothing like a little common sense to faciliate sleep. The structure of your life is exactly whats preventing any adaptation or flexibility from being present. Babies aren't born knowing a thing about their cribs or room. They've been sleeping in your belly inspite of sounds and sensations for months. Everything you present to them in the first few days and weeks after birth is drastically new and different. You decide for your baby what will constitute normal and what will constitute abnormal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 8:29am
So then why, and how for that matter, are they "on a strict sleep schedule"?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 8:31am
Perhaps your having no idea of the effectiveness of steady, fairly loud noise on conking out a tired child has something to do with only discussing things with people who think and do like you do. Running vacuums, dryers, fans, radios, anything that drowns out the sound to the baby of its own crying is often quite effective - also has the benefit of covering up any sudden change in volume that has the tendency to interrupt sleep. Lots of people have been doing this from time immemorial, or at least since the advent of electricity.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 8:37am

Why did you skip the rest of my post? The rest of the post that says that I've tried and tried to put my child down (a tired child) at many an event and she refuses to sleep? She won't even sleep in the car! And it is NOT from the lack of trying on our part.


From early on, everyone said, "Don't worry, she'll sleep in the car." "No big deal, just bring the pack and play and she'll sleep at our house." That NEVER happened. She will wait and get cranky and overtired. Doesn't want to miss anything.


She has slept through fireworks displays, now that I think about it....but at her own house, in her own bed. 4th of July is a madhouse around the lake.


Meldi

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 8:37am
How does hovering every 10 minutes help with any of this? Good grief what do you do - hover for 9 minutes and 50 seconds, go away and come back 10 seconds later? The last time I figured it - I concluded that it took about 10 seconds max for a child to go play in a road or eat a rock. Which is why of course, its so much wiser to allow other adults who happen to be around the right to watch out for kids other than their own. Lets face it - you have three kids and two sets of parental eyes. Not a good ratio to begin with. Basically, from your standpoint you must agree your logistical planning sucked. Your home front with just the two of you is dangerous enough. Might as well take advantage of the increased eyeball availablility to improve your children's chances of surviving rocks and roads when out in social settings. Your friend just might be the one to have her eyeballs trained on your 3rd who is now heading for the road (why ever did somoene with your paranoia level ever let yourself get so outnumbered)while you have yours on the 1st and your husband has his on the 2nd.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 8:41am

I don't understand. Why would a child who napped at 12/1 pm then all of a sudden fall asleep at 4 pm in the car? Especially if he's on a sleep schedule and his bedtime is 8-9 pm?

Tow of mine still nap on a schedule and would never fall asleep in the car at 4 pm.

I do see a child falling asleep in the car at 4 pm if he needed a nap and didn't get one though - but, that's not going to be the situation of a child on a tight sleep schedule, according to your own posts. In your scenario, the child on a sleep schedule will do better if nighttime sleep is your objective.

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