WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:23pm

I think the problemsolving issue is the crux of this debate. I hit on this in one of my other posts. I think because LTB and PJM are *so* quick to intervene that it causes the 10 minute cycle of destruction and potential broken bones. Not to mention the kids get wanted attention and an audience for their problems.

I learned this early on when I was regularly watching my friends 2 kids along with mine. (they are all the same age. Now all 5yo). When I first started watching them, when they were 3, I used to jump at the first sign of distress just so I wouldn't have to hear it. But then I discovered if I was too late getting there, it was usually resolved on its own. So I just started delaying my reaction and started telling them if they didn't cooperate with each other and figure out a way to play nicely they couldn't play together or I would take offending item away. Worked like a charm. Funny how threatening to seperate two arguing children will bring them closer together.

Kids need to deal with it on their own. When the parent gets involved it's sometimes justs adds fuel to the fire, not to mention it is depriving them of crucial social problem solving skills.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:27pm
Will he recall that his schedule was out of whack for a day? Early childhood experiences either matter or they don't, right? So which is it?
Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:29pm
I'm not talking about naps. I am talking about 3 & 5 year olds playing together for longer than 10 minutes without major fights breaking out that need parental intervention. It is a fact that they can do it. If children that age *can not* do it on a consistent and regular basis, then there is something wrong with that child in that situation. Because it is not the *norm* to have to intervene every 10 minutes with a five year old.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:31pm
Including a large backyard and room in the house for "stuff"?

(posited because my brother's girlfriend wants to marry him but doesn't know if she can handle So Cal life living in a condo, and taking her son away from his father and her family

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:33pm
We get the season pass. Sometimes we go just so he can play in the playground area. It's a nice way to spend a couple hours or a day. Now that I have the 5 month old, it's just a bit more complicated that before. I have to actually remember to bring things like diapers. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:36pm

You do have a point there.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:37pm
We need to get ponchos so we can sit on the front rows of the Shamu show LOL.
Mondo Mom

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:38pm
Hey! How are you doing? When we lived at our condo we could see them from our balcony. So how is everything going? I know we keep saying it but now that it is summer we HAVE to get together finally! It looks like we are done with visiting relatives and vacations. So summer looks pretty open.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:39pm

My boys would love that.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:40pm
The last time we went he really wanted to sit in the splash zone. Nooooooooo. At least I have a good excuse with the baby! LOL

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