WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:41pm

My ds at the age of 5 still remembers being *kissed* by baby Shamu through the viewing glass.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:41pm

And as was pointed out to you, there are always going to be issues within human relationships. That has nothing to do with parenting in general.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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Registered: 03-18-2004
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:42pm

LOL. THought so! :)

The poor girl.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:45pm
My ds too! He loves those sharks. The shark exhibit ALWAYS has to be the first thing we see when we go to Seaworld. We have passes to the zoo also. We live just a mile away so it is so easy just to just hang out around there. I love our zoo. We do nighttime zoo alot during the summer. Sooo much fun.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:46pm

What constitutes "putting them to sleep"? Are drugs involved? Whiskey?


My kids don't need to be 'put to sleep' at home. It's always been a story or two, tucked in and lights out. No elaborate routine of exactly 3 stories, then some rocking, then 2 lullabys, then warm milk, yadda, yadda. Just plop and go, essentially. They *do* put themselves to sleep, when we are at home.


We we are out, Aspen won't go to sleep regardless of the hour and she's been like this always. No, I didn't purposely stay in hotels away from home to 'condition' her when she was a little baby. Perhaps I should have.


Meldi

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:46pm

I agree. My natural inclination, to be honest, is to shadow and hover. But I've read so many articles about how important it is for kids to develop their own problem-solving abilities that I force myself to let them work it out.

Obviously that doesn't mean letting kids hit or bite -- that's completely unacceptable, and I have gotten extremely annoyed at parents who don't stop their children from hurting others. My older son did go through a biting stage at around two, and I was never more than a step away from him during playgroup. It does, however, mean that I don't intervene when kids argue over a toy. Nine times out of ten, by the age of five, at least, they work it out themselves.

Learning how to work things out for themselves is critical, not only for their social development, but also for the development of empathy and ethics. If you solve each little problem kids encounter, you do avoid immediate conflict, but you are creating serious problems for them (and for society) later on.

Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:49pm

The schedule was based on timing. Timing that she grew into herself. I never mentioned where the schedule takes place. We've tried a bunch of times to have her sleep other places. Only truly works if she stays there the whole night and never works at nap time.


Meldi

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:49pm
Oops! LOL. But you do think I'm right, though? LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:51pm
LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 1:51pm

I say it's okay for 5 year olds to play in the basement rec room without any adults, as long as the door's open at the top of the stairs.


Heck, when I was five we used to wander all over the property. I don't even know if my mom could even hear us in the woods. What's going to happen to a group of 5 year olds in a house?


Meldi

Meldi

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