WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 3:32pm

How long does it take for you to go back to sleep?


About as long as it takes to fall asleep in the first place.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 3:33pm

"So, no, if I *had* known, I wouldn't have flown home, I don't think, but I would have had a crappy time for the rest of the trip, feeling guilty and worry.

I guess *for me* there is a big chasm of worry between flying home and not thinking about it at all."

Well, now I'm really confused, because I've also read from you (in post 243) that you probably would have come home:

"I am trying to remember...I think that he might have said something like, "Aspen has a little cold, but she is fine." during the day, but hid the total extent of the illness till I got back. He might have said that, might not. I know that I was shocked that he was able to keep it to himself (the all night thing, the doc visit) but very grateful that he did. Since she was my first and that was my first time away I would have probably come home."

Who said anything about not thinking about it at all? The difference between "she has a little cold but she is fine" and "she has a little cold, we had a long night, but I'm taking her to the doctor to make sure she is fine" is the difference between a fine trip and a wrecked, guilt wracked, maybe cut short trip?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 3:38pm
Yes, but it would be a big chasm that you'd never experience, because you'd never know about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 3:41pm

For over six years I was either pregnant or nursing or both. I didn't realize how low my butt was dragging until a couple of months after my second one weaned and I suddenly realized how GOOD I felt. It wasn't like I felt BAD during the baby years, because I didn't, but there was definitely a sag in my step that only went away when the kids were finally both sleeping through the night and no longer nursing.

Now my older one is old enough occasionally to be still out with friends when I am ready to go to bed on weekend nights, and I am realizing that I am in for another decade or so of light sleeping until everybody is home and tucked in. I'm guessing it gets way, way worse when they start driving.

Enjoy those middle years!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 3:42pm
There's nothing inconsistent about that at all. I didn't say my DH would be responsible for my reaction to his behavior.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 3:43pm
Wow, I didn't realize it was that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 3:43pm
Here either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 3:47pm
"That is what I know and I am glad that he didn't call me and tell me in the middle of the night call and ask for advice. It was just a cold. But there were big periods of time that were scary for dh. This was his first baby, first time alone." I'm happy for you both that you are both so pleased not to have contacted each other, since you would not have been, or at least would not have been pleased to have been, supportive of each other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 3:58pm

Can I say, 'had I known what I know now?' (about baby illnesses, colds, etc) then I wouldn't have flown home. Knowing what I knew then (not much) I would have felt like I needed to fly home, but probably felt stupid about it, but felt like I needed to, on and on.


To dh at the time, what was 'just a cold' was very scary. He was scared that something horrible would happen on his watch in the first place. He was a new dad too, with almost 0 experience with relative newborns, including his own. It was a learning experience for all of us.


Meldi

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 3:59pm
How much more up could your sex drive get? (pardon me, I thought you posted you have sex every day (?))

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