WOH and sleeping issues
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WOH and sleeping issues
| Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am |
We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.
I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

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My post, to which you were replying, was a response to someone stating that being adults means we handle our stresses independently (paraphrase).
I responded that being in a marriage means I don't have to handle all of my stress alone.
"On the contrary, I don't like SZM's suggestion that parents stifle their thoughts on the toll sleep deprivation can take. I'm glad for friends and family who confided in me the difficulties of forcing a premature transition out of the family bed, the stresses on a marriage and family that CAN accompany co-sleeping, the horror stories of forcing CIO on an older child, etc. I'm glad that PNJ is discussing this topic openly." Which makes me wonder if you could possibly have read any of this thread. None of us has been discussing any of those things, not even Felicia. Felicia has been discussing her need for sleep as a very desperate thing, and as if the consequence of her getting woken up once a night or less by her older children will be akin to what it's like to get woken up multiple times for weeks on end like a mother of a newborn does. Which is rubbish, unless she's got some sort of serious medical condition. Furthermore, suzymomm simply didn't suggest that parents just stifle their thoughts on sleep deprivation.
"Law students like engineering students like practically every parent out there is EQUALLY aware of the toll sleep deprivation cna take. No one needs to even discuss the definition." Couldn't agree with you more. Bet suzymomm couldn't either. Which means your post would be more properly addressed to Felicia, whose post (to which suzymomm's is responding) suggests that Felicia is among only a few who understand the subject.
"I haven't read examples of inappropriate behavior by anybody in this thread." Right. Then it can't be too impossible to behave appropriately at work despite sleep deprivation.
"Sahps do have the opportunity to 'sleep when the baby sleeps' - I still can when I'm home with just my youngest two. It makes all the difference." Congratulations, glad you found something that works for you. Not every SAHP - even a SAHP of an only! - has children who nap when they can nap. (My DS, for instance, had a strong tendency to nap in his stroller or in cars while I took care of household business and was wide awake and ready to party when we were at home. That made it a bit tricky for me to catch a snooze.) I think it's downright dangerous to just go to sleep and leave a toddler attended only by a TV, and the possible repercussions of that much worse than of the average person having an off day at work. (You do realize, don't you, that not every employed person is saving the universe every day at their jobs?)
"I disagree." Obviously you and suzymomm disagree on substance. What I said, however, is that your criticism that she has no experience with what she's talking about applies equally to you.
Good for Luv that she can 'sleep when the kids sleep' during the day. I find that idea nearly impossible in this house....mainly because in the hour that the naps overlap I have a zillion things to accomplish. And there is the whole deal that I just can't turn off my mind enough to get any rest.
My dh has a lot more opportunity to sleep at work, lol. He'll take his lunch break in his car and have a little snooze.
I know that the combo of prolonged sleep deprivation and hormones after pregnancy made me into a different, scary person. I'm so truly glad that those days are behind me.
But, I
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I can suck it up and cope to the extent that I can work and parent effectively.
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Why should I "suck it up", without complaining?
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I never suggested anyone stifle their thoughts about sleep deprivation. Not at all. Talk about it all day long, I don't mind. When I mentioned wanting to say, "Suck it up," it was in regards to someone having this notion that optimal quantity and quality of sleep was far more important than granting certain nighttime requests coming from small children AND/OR communicating with a spouse about emergencies/deep concerns/emotional issues currently happening.
Your comments about #2 leaves me to believe you weren't following the thread. I only stated I have four children when told that perhaps I didn't know what sleep deprivation really was.
As far as "sleep when the baby sleeps," I think that is an excellent idea. It gets a little complicated when you need to modify it to "sleep when the baby sleeps, and you've managed to get the 20 month old to nap, and you've managed to get the 3 1/2 year old to nap, and your five year old kindergartener (who got off the bus at 10:15 am everyday) is engaged in PBS and you are sure he isn't going to unlock the door and run out into the street or fall into the lagoon." I don't like to whip out the four-kids-under-five-and-a-half card any more than anyone else wants to read about it. I mention it so people don't take my easy-going laid-back attitude of one who has never experienced any hardship whatsoever.
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