WOH and sleeping issues
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WOH and sleeping issues
| Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am |
We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.
I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

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My ds just turned 6 and he goes to bed between 915-945. He gets up on his own by 730 every morning. He has just never needed a whole lot of sleep.
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
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The good news is that the kids grow up and tend to need you less (or less frequently) at night over time. My seven year old and nine year old rarely bother me at night and I've had a pretty liberal open-door policy. The bad news is that when they don't need you that much any more, it can be hard to create moments of intimacy. (As the mother of four, I resent the middle of the night intrusions less because they are ways my children get me all to themselves and who can begrudge them that?) When my three year old calls for me at midnight, I crawl in bed with him or he crawls in bed with me and I realize that in a very short time, we won't be doing that anymore. Snuggling together in bed (one of the things that I need to do in the middle of the night that contributes to my sleep loss) is a very important part of our family life. In a few years, I'm sure it will all be phased out and I will be a little sad about that.
I guess I see the whole losing sleep issue as being so completely temporary (which is kind of funny since I've been experiencing it for about ten years now!) and so worth the emotional trust and intimacy it gives us, that I don't get too bent about it.
(If I were truly obsessed about the quality of my sex life, I probably wouldn't have been thrilled at letting three nine-pound, huge-cranium babies come barreling down my vagina. I would have had four C-sections!)
My best girlfriend who has 4 children (the youngest is almost 14 now) has always really given me perspective on just how fast the time goes and how quickly they grow up. While there is certainly a part of her looking forward to the future and freedom of grown kids, she told me to appreciate and enjoy every moment while they are little. It just goes too fast. The times I have complained about kid stuff, she says that *this too shall pass* and that they wont need/want/behave this way forever. Its just a blip on the radar overall.
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
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