WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 3:56pm

Why?

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 3:57pm
For the vast majority of the time, no.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 3:59pm
I'm just glad this whole discussion is no longer relevant to me. My kids had some sleep issues, but they grew out of it. Thank goodness it didn't take 20 years!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 4:00pm
I would think of that as 20 years very well spent. You make it sound like 20 years straight down the drain.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 4:10pm

So you plan to basically cut them out of your life once they are grown? Not be involved with your grandchildren? Not live near enough to visit and spend time with them? You'll pack up and take long trips without letting them know where you are? You will no longer worry about their wellbeing, their happiness or their lives in general? They become aquaintances???


I'll miss my children when they are no longer living at home. I dont see life *infinitely* easier with grown children. Maybe less $ spent, less time involved, and a bit less interesting. But I wouldnt say easier.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 4:10pm

Since I reached 18, my mother has supported me through:


1. a nervous breakdown


2. an unplanned pregnancy


3. the death of a husband


4. The birth of two children


She has supported my sister through:


1. Losing two babies due to genetic abnormalities


2. Birth of two babies


3. moves she did not want (but her DH did)


4. A painful, chronic illness


"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 4:11pm
Lol, and reallly its not relevent to me because the fact that my kids like crawling in bed with me sometimes would not be considered a *sleep issue* in my opinion. Although I'll be surprised if they are still doing it in 20 years......

Dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 4:16pm

So you plan to basically cut them out of your life once they are grown?

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 4:17pm

I don't *expect* to have any day to day responsibilities wrt them, but sh#t happens, so to speak. My brother is 35 yo and still lives with my mother. He suffered a severe brain injury in an accident when he was 14. He is unable to drive (due to a risk of seizures and his general maturity level), so she spends quite a lot of time carting him around (too much, imo, but that's another story ;-). I'm quite sure that my mom did not expect to have the level of responsibility for him that she does at this age. That may be a rather extreme example, but other issues can come up as well.

You just sound like you're in such a hurry to get this kid thing over with.




Edited 5/25/2005 4:18 pm ET ET by jfp2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 4:19pm
I had the worst of both worlds--I was unhappy with my kids' sleep habits, but I didn't have the consistency or self discipline to get them to do what I wanted. But low and behold, they grew up a little and got over it. As you said, the time goes fast the hard time I had with sleep issues was just a blip.

Pages