WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 4:26pm

But as I said, those 20 years they are at home

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 4:35pm

AMEN!


Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 4:36pm

<>


Nice try but that is not what I said.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 4:43pm

"There's potentially 17 years from when they leave home until I have grandchildren if they start at 35."


You better tack the phrase. . .like I hope they do. . .to that sentence.


If they have children in their mid twenties, that's just 7 or so years after they turn 18. . .and they aren't likely to leave home the day they turn 18, anyway.


Virgo

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 4:48pm

Heck I'll be happy if

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 4:49pm

What a defeatist attitude. You must really be feeling cranky today. Should we be sending you some brochures for boarding schools or what?

Here's the difference between you and me--there is part of me that is always going to cherish the twenty four years I have children at home. (I'm also going to complain and curse part of these years but deep down, I do think these are the Good Ol' Days. What comes next is obviously going to be different but not necessarily better.)

You sound like you've lost just too much to parenthood. I can't figure it out. You have the world at your feet, you live a priviledged life, and you are concentrating on the things you cannot have. You seem torn between two worlds. I do hope you find some peace in parenting because although I can acknowledge that parenting is not meant to be and it isn't likely to be free from angst, it is also not meant to be a huge black cloud of deprivation either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 6:12pm
Couldn't agree more. I have no doubt at all that while some logistics become easier over time, the parenting itself doesn't, even with less responsibility.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 6:15pm
I have the funny feeling we're going to get told that this is simply the natural and inevitable result of Felicia not having had 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. And perhaps that if we were honest and not trying to pretend we were superhuman, we'd admit that we feel exactly the same way.


Edited 5/25/2005 6:20 pm ET ET by dogma_2
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 6:20pm

The same responsibilities that any friends have toward each other. I'm friends with my parents, and expect my sons to be my friends when they grow up.

I hate to jump on you, because I do think you're getting picked on somewhat, but what I find strange is your lack of a sense of integration in your life. With any luck, my sons will always be a huge part of my life. The work and money requirements will wax and wane. But I guess I just don't see the "mom" part of me as so very different from the non-mom part of me. It's all just me. I get the sense that you feel that the "non-mom" parts of your personality represent your only authentic self. Is that right?

Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 10:24pm

I was thinking about this further this afternoon and really, I cant imagine a better way to spend 20 years of my life.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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