WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 8:06am
"If a parent is going to take a child into his own bed or if a parent lies down in the child's bed to comfort the child after a night waking, then that's going to happen frequently." Not necessarily. I've done both with DS. Neither happens even moderately frequently. Just knowing he can do so at any time seems to provide enough comfort to him such that he doesn't take me up on it often.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 8:32am

I don't normally copy-cut-n-paste entire posts in order to reply, so indulge me here.


"My mom is one of my best friends. Who else on earth really cares about you and all your silly problems (other than dad, of course)? I can tell my mom everything, every fear, success, sadness. She is my greatest ally."


My mother is NOT one of my best friends.

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 9:16am

The more I think about this, the more I think it's just a personality thing. I (much to my own mother's disappointment) was not a cuddler from the get-go. I would actually pull away from her as a baby when she would try to hug and cuddle me. The times that we did sleep together (on trips and such) were always torture for me, even as a child. I just didn't like super-closeness. It's taken me years and years to open myself up as much as I have. I am an open person when it comes to discussion, but I just don't like too much touching and space-invasion. Aspen is the same. She likes hugs and kisses but no cuddling unless she is sick. But that suits me fine, lol.


I'm sorry that you are not close with your own mom, but I am glad that you have others to fill in the gap. I am not close at all with my father. He is a lot like me....or how I could have ended up if I hadn't learned from my own mother the benefits of opening up emotionally. I had to teach my dh the same thing. He actually put that fact in our wedding vows.


I do understand how people can find comfort sleeping with their children and vice versa. Michael Jackson, OTOH, I don't understand, lol.


Meldi

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 9:22am
So financial actions are the most important parental actions, in your view?

Virgo

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 9:53am
Yeah...how dare we behave like it would be nice to eat at least a dozen times before college....

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
flat in others,
and really annoying when it's stuck in your head."

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 10:31am

"She married in part to have and raise children ~ an admirable goal in my mind." Hm. I don't see admirability as having anything to do with it.

"And, among other things she does for her children, she's setting aside every single penny for her children's college educations. Unlike some of her critics here. And when that money would mean an earlier retirement for her." Do you have a point here? Making sure a child's education is paid in full means, what, exactly, that not making sure a child's education is paid in full does not?

I really, really doubt that paying for her children's education is going to delay her desired retirement date by ten minutes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 10:51am

I can understand she had a strong desire to have children (I always had that desire too), but

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 11:05am
Your last line, in addition to being harsh, doesn't appear to make logical sense.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 11:10am
When I have a cold I am often "sick enough to stay up all night with breathing problems". I just wouldn't bother to describe the situation as having "breathing problems". Its just uncomfortable to breath through my mouth with a stuffy nose. And I'm an adult. A baby has a cold with a stuffed nose and is being kept up by it is not a situation which ever did or ever could send me into a worry fit. Whether I'm there or not really wouldn't matter. And I probably wouldn't be telling anyone my baby had "breathing problems" either. I'd say my baby had a stuffy nose and was miserable because of it. On the other hand, as a persn who has suffered more than her fair share of real bouts of bronchitis, as both child and adult, I know the difference between "uncomfy" and "breathing problems". I never had an iota of trouble reconginzing the difference in my children either. Neither did my husband. He's also personally experienced the difference between "uncomfortable with stuffy nose" and "can't breath". I don't think I'd ever leave my child with anyone I didn't believe could tell the difference. And that includes the few adults I know who I think might not recognize the difference, as well as the ones who'd be in a panic themselves over a baby with a stuffy nose.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 11:20am

I didnt mean it harshly.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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