WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2004
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 2:16pm
Ethan will be 6 in September. He's in bed around 7:00 p.m. (asleep well within 30 min., sometimes in 5 min.) and up anywhere between 7:30 a.m. and 9:00 p.m. - most days 8:00 a.m. It's interesting how different children the same age need different amounts of sleep. Ethan needs 12-13 hrs a night.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2004
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 2:30pm

'My ds just turned 6 and he goes to bed between 915-945. He gets up on his own by 730 every morning. He has just never needed a whole lot of sleep.'

Holy, I guess not. I could sleep longer than that each night.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 2:37pm

Even when he was

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 2:45pm

Wow. Having a child who goes to bed that early would really put a lot of restrictions on our family life. Our nine-year-old has baseball games that start at 7 pm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2004
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 2:57pm
He has soccer Thursday nights that start at 6:45 p.m. and goes for almost a full hour. The lack of sleep hits him. Lastnight we went and saw Sesame Street Live and he wasn't in bed until 9:00 p.m. (asleep instantly), although he did fall asleep in the car on the way home. Today he had a class field trip all day (he usually only goes afternoons to school) and then tonight soccer. When I pick him up at 3:30 p.m. I'll have him have a little sleep before supper. I imagine he's going to be exhausted. I didn't know that his field trip was going to be today when I bought the tickets for the show lastnight. We stick to a fairly strict bedtime routine and schedule, only the odd occasion goes past his bedtime. And of course, I and he didn't want to miss soccer this year - he's still in bed around 8 those nights. It's usually supper time, clean the toyroom, upstairs for bath, story and then to bed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 3:25pm
And this is the kind of post which makes me think YOU'RE engaged in the M.O. The kind where you pat yourself and Felicia on the back for being more honest than other people.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 3:32pm

I dunno...I guess for me it's the huge disconnect between the desire so deep to HAVE children and the complete lack of evidence of pleasure IN them.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 3:45pm

What's true for you is not necessarily true for me and vice versa, obviously. I think it's great (really!) when a mother or father really feels inspired and invigorated by parenting (like yourself or suzymomm for example). I've learned a lot about attitude from the both of you and a lot of other posters on this board.

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 3:55pm

"or at least sound like she does"

I think that is exactly it. I don't think she writes about motherhood the way other people expect/want her to. I don't think she enumerates everything she loves about being a mom in all her posts. I don't think that means she doesn't enoy it...it's simply not her style. Maybe she's the kind of person who believes that the disclaimer of "but of course I love being a parent" is understood without it having to be spelled out all the time.

For example, if you go back on this thread you will see many versions of "of course there were times when my kids made me want to run away BUT they are great/I love being a parent/my children are everything to me/I will treasure this time always"

You say it yourself here "yet, with all the cards stacked against the situation, and there *have* been good times, the joy of parenting I've experienced outweighs them many many times over." There is that disclaimer again. I do it all the time!!

I think (and I could be wrong) that she is the kind of person who doesn't feel it is necessary to include the disclaimer all the time. Her direct and straightforward style is to say "I was resentful when my kids woke me up" Period. "They will no longer depend on me 24-7 when they leave my house" Period. While other posters would bend over backwards to say at the end of that sentence "but being a parent is the greatest thing that ever happened to me etc et" I do it myself.

I notice that many of her posts are also very stripped down. A sentence or two. She just has a very sparse writing style.

Maybe she should enumerate for everyone all the things she loves about being a parent..and if she can't then maybe you are right;)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 5:30pm
naw, this is one time I would rather be 100% wrong.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
flat in others,
and really annoying when it's stuck in your head."

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,

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