WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 9:02am
I don't get the disclaimer free angle at all. I get the lack of control angle. Kids force unplanned and uncontrollable life elements upon their parents - right from the minute by minute dailly life situation to the long term planning one. People who can't be flexible and can't adapt and can't manage on the fly and are nervous if there isn't a predictable plan in place at every level - are not going to enjoy raising children the same way those who are more flexible can.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 9:18am
You have a good point.

Virgo

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 9:29am

Let's get something straight. No one, not even DJ, who was the only one I believe who used the term "sad," "labeled" Felicia sad or pathetic or what have you, and certainly not for wanting to sleep without them. DJ said that Felicia seemed to be very focused on looking ahead to when her children leave home, and that DJ found THAT a sad way to feel, considering they're barely out of short pants. She also said she felt bad that Felicia felt that way. How is DJ supposed to feel about it so as not to induce guilt in you?

This is reminding me of a post I really wish I could find (not of yours, I think it had been one of Felicia's) which had suggested that people really shouldn't talk about enjoying extended BFing or natural child birth because they made people who didn't do that feel bad. I find that very bizarre.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:01am
I think that's very true. Moreover, I don't see as there's anything that ought to be guilt-inducing about admitting that something - anything - is outside of one's natural comfort zone, as that has no logical relevance to the job one actually does in working through or around that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:14am

Please refer to my post 524 on this thread. I think you are rather far afield in thinking that anyone is thinking of Felicia as a "pathetic figure" or that she has been labeled "sad." And NO one has said anything remotely suggestive of her being delusional.

Here are some examples of the tone of your posts, which prompted the comment from me: "there are those who practically write lyrical poems about the beauty of nursing a baby at 3 am. . . ." and you describe Felicia as someone who "just" doesn't "wax poetic. . . like some other posters." Sounds very much to me like you suggested that lots of people other than Felicia have been engaging in a lot of creative writing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:15am
Oh my. You've made sense.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:17am
Well put.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:24am
Sometimes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:25am
I was coming down with an illness, must have made my outlook on Wednesday unusually gloomy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:27am

Sorry for the overall negative tone - I was getting sick and didn't realize it on Wednesday.


"Here's the difference between you and me--there is part of me that is always going to cherish the twenty four years I have children at home."

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