WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:28am
Are you also going to tell me that your life won't change much once DS is away at college?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:30am
This is a good observation.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:30am
What were your other options?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:31am
I don't really see myself "hanging out" with my children on a regular basis once they're in their 20s.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:42am

"Are you also going to tell me that your life won't change much once DS is away at college?" I don't understand your point. I can tell you, I'm not salivating for that change, nor am I distraught about it. "My life will change much less than yours when our children are gone." Sez who? It's probably 11 years between now and then. What is my life going to look like in 11 years, Felicia? How about yours?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:46am

I guess I just view MY life as a series of stages or cycles that will be marked by change.


What I mean is that I expected my life WOULD change with the arrival of each of my children. . .and I expect that it will change as each of them leaves our home.


Virgo

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:49am

This is probably more in response to meldi than you, dogma, but now that I've typed it, I don't want to move it ;-) I used the term "sad" as well, and like dj I used it in response to Felicia's post about how 20 years of her life will be gone by the time her boys are out of the house. I was not referring to her desire not to be awakened in the middle of the night. I didn't say that she is sad because she's not enthralled with babies and toddlers. And I have no desire to make anyone feel guilty. Rather, I sense in her posts a certain disconnect between her life as a mom and her other life. She is so fiercely protective of "her life," it's as if she will lose herself if she really lets her children into it. I can't help but think she's missing out.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she's just venting. But it has been a consistent theme in her posts, and if I'm right about it, then I do find it sad that she is unable to get more enjoyment out of being a mother. Felicia and I have rather different parenting styles, but I think that we also share many personality traits. It's none of my business of course, except that she threw it out there for debate. But I do see myself in some of her posts to a certain extent, and I think that if she'd learn to loosen up a little, she might have more fun being a parent. And who doesn't want to have more fun?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:52am

OK. I have no idea why you just don't understand what I'm saying.

"anyone is thinking of Felicia as a "pathetic figure" or that she has been labeled "sad."

I referred to ONE POST! One post that SPECIFICALLY said that she was unhappy. When someone says "I feel bad for her" or "she strikes me as sad" you know what...that usually tends to paint that person in a pathetic light. I never commented on ANY of the other posts. I made a comment SPECIFICALLY about that ONE POST.

"And NO one has said anything remotely suggestive of her being delusional."

ARRRRG! Read my post again. I was saying an EXAMPLE if someone came on here and called YOU delusional for your view of parenthood I would have had a similar reaction. I was saying that I would have spoken up if I felt someone was being mislabeled...including YOU for your view about parenthood. I never said anyone called PNJ delusional???!!!???

"there are those who practically write lyrical poems about the beauty of nursing a baby at 3 am. . . ." and you describe Felicia as someone who "just" doesn't "wax poetic. . . like some other posters." Sounds very much to me like you suggested that lots of people other than Felicia have been engaging in a lot of creative writing.

And what is wrong about waxing poetic about parenthood? That is your particular defensiveness on this subject coming through. My only point is that OTHER people express themselves differently and that is OK too!!! That doesn't mean they don't enjoy parenthood.

Sheesh!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:56am
You're right, there are times I do not "really enjoy raising them."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:57am

That's definitely an overstatement.

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