WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 11:15am
It IS hard for me to believe that you don't miss the working world one iota.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 11:20am

Okay, fair enough.

Just this morning I had a little glimpse of the future. My dh and I were having an in-depth discussion about the merits of the band Rush and he had to go put on a CD which evolved into a before-school dance party for the kids. My dh said he couldn't wait until he can take our oldest ds to a Rush concert. I laughed and said how great it would be once dh has some regular concert going kids to accompany him on his adventures in music appreciation. We are hoping that all of our children will share our enthusiasm for music. I can totally see my dh with his twenty-some children going off to see a rock band or musical artist and having a blast.

Maybe dh and I are just trying to avoid getting old...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 11:20am

"Little to no enjoyment is to be found in those early months" DOES sound sad to me. It does. I'm sorry."


Don't apologize.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 11:21am
Excellent point.

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Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 11:22am

I absolutely agree with everything you said.

I've know PNJ off-line. She is a very caring, loving individual. She just doesn't gush all the time. I like that.

She reminds me a bit of my best friend, Renee. She'll say to me "my kids are sucking the life out of me." But she doesn't have to say to me, "but I adore them anyway." I know she does. It's quite obvious. Even when they suck the life out of her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 11:22am
Yes. I'm a control freak and like predictability. I've become more flexible and adaptable by necessity since the boys were born, but I still don't like it LOL!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 11:32am
Isn't the primary driver of your schedule the next 11 years your son's schedule?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 11:32am

That was a two week thing and the proposal he was working on will be done today. And yes, we've had very little time together lately. I am taking my kids out of school this afternoon, driving them to my mother's, so we can have a whole evening and tomorrow morning to ourselves to kind of "make up" for lost time. Yes, we need our alone time together.

We had a very meaningful, intimate conversation this week when I had a meltdown over the phone early in the week. We don't have to be in the same room for meaningfulness and intimacy. I also had the choice of going to bed with him when he did this week (at 9 pm) but I chose not to. I thought our relationship could survive it.

We carve out what we need, when we need. I've done a wide variety of things to make sure he and I stay connected in the middle of a crazy life. I've used my babysitting time to go out to lunch with him, I've physically tired out my children and put kids to bed early when I knew I needed some time at night to be with dh, and so forth. I just don't have it permanently built into the schedule.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 11:32am
Did you accurately predict what those changes would be?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 11:34am
I'd trade Charles' age now for that first 12 months at any moment! LOL

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