WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 1:06pm

Slow deep even breaths would probably help here. "Sheesh" yourself. I understand you just fine. I don't agree with you. Big difference. Furthermore, Felicia has said, since this post, that although she loves her kids without limitation, she doesn't feel the same about parenting.

So what if you were referring to one post or twenty? I think your interpretation of that post is, as I said, rather far afield, for reasons I already explained. And I know you didn't say someone called Felicia delusional. Which makes your 'what if someone came on the board and called you delusional?' question really inapposite.

Hm. So I'm particularly defensive about "waxing poetic," it's not that you're mocking anything, oh, no no. I guess that means you are particularly defensive about someone thinking it's unfortunate that someone wouldn't enjoy parenting more. That must be it.




Edited 5/27/2005 1:12 pm ET ET by dogma_2
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 1:08pm
You may imagine correctly for some, but I don't see it as most. Well integrated doesn't mean nearly the same thing as "dominated" for anyone in my acquaintance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 1:12pm

I've always felt that having children made my life fuller and more enjoyable.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 1:17pm

Felicia, can I ask, and I dont mean this to sound harsh, I just really am wondering-WHY did you have a second child? If parenting was so difficult, so much harder than you had anticipated, why bring another baby into the mix? I realize the point is completely moot, I just wonder what your mindset was that you still chose to have another baby even though you were shellshocked by parenting.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 1:20pm
Not about anything that important to me; like I said, much of the issue is simply my own failure to understand your perspective....and I'm really REALLY not trying to slam you or make you feel bad.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 1:23pm
But I don't see that anyone said or implied they doubt she loves her CHILDREN. The question was about whether she thoroughly enjoys PARENTING. Not the same thing at all. And she has come on since and readily admitted she's NOT always all that wild about parenting, so this isn't just a "she just doesn't always include the 'oh-but-of-course-you-know-parenting-is-my-favorite-thing' disclaimer" issue. Sometimes she isn't crazy about the parenting. There's nothing wrong with that, and I'm glad she doesn't have an issue with saying it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 1:23pm

Dj's post:

"And while I think that has much more to do with personal unhappiness than anything else, it still strikes me as kind of sad. I feel bad for her."

Personal unappiness = sad.

Your post:

"I think you are rather far afield in thinking that anyone is thinking of Felicia as a "pathetic figure" or that she has been labeled "sad."

I dsagree. I believe the label is implicit in that sentence.

"So I'm particularly defensive about "waxing poetic," it's not that you're mocking anything, oh, no no"

No I wasn't mocking. I was explaining a difference in style and I believe I said as much. Why would I mock when I'm one of those people that tends to "wax poetic" more times than not? On this very board too? If you read it that way...oh well.

"I guess that means you are particularly defensive about someone thinking it's unfortunate that someone wouldn't enjoy parenting more. That must be it."

Nope

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 1:25pm

What do you mean by that? I had no other options besides marrying and having children? Yeah, thats why I waited until I was 33 to do so, lol.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 1:26pm

Being surprised is one thing. Being left shellshocked over it is another.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 1:27pm

"Haven't you ever wanted something and then found out it was totally different than you expected when it finally arrived?" Yes. Not anything that was by necessity going to take up a major portion of my time and effort for a good portion of the remainder of my natural life.

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