WOH and sleeping issues
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WOH and sleeping issues
| Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am |
We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.
I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

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Add me to the "not sure if I'll live near my sons" camp. My sisters and I have all lived (or are living) at least 3,000 miles from my parents. My parents moved to Europe for several years when we were young. I would be disappointed if my sons didn't venture out into the world a bit.
That doesn't mean we wouldn't be close, though, and it doesn't mean we wouldn't end up near each other later, when the boys were ready to settle down on the good old East Coast.
Let me try again.
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I think this is where having the kids last in the family makes a huge difference. My kids are numbers 13 and 15 of the grandkids on my side of the family. I was regularly seeing (and taking care of) baby nieces and nephews from the time I was 16. No one really had to tell me anything about the hardships of pareting as I was getting a pretty good idea first-hand. Ds was one of the easiest infants in the family, which made the transition for me that much smoother.
Laura
I didn't accurately predict them -- regular old child-rearing and newbornhood are much easier than I thought they would be. As I said above, this worked against me with my first son, who had some medical issues I didn't recognize because I was so darned prepared for a rough ride. I was shocked when my second son was born, because having a baby who actually ate and slept was so much easier. It wasn't until then that I finally realized how tough things had been with DS1. I went through a real period of grief at that time, because seeing how calm and happy DS2 was made me sad for what DS1 hadn't had.
There have been enormous surprises. I had *no idea* that babies could love as much as they do. I thought it would be work work work for at least the first three years, with very little feedback. Their smiles, hugs, and concern for my wellbeing (DS2 always makes sure I get a Gymbo stamp at the end of Gymboree, for example) are a genuine surprise. I expected cute little lumps of clay for the first few years, at least.
I see human consciousness as an amazing journey, and I'm not the driver. How could anyone living in modern society and being aware of what's going on in the world today expect to be able to control one's experiences on earth? One read of the Washington Post ought to disspell such ideas.
<> I know how you feel. That's how I felt when my boys were younger.
>>Could it be that I had babies to have 5 and 6 year olds and up? Sure.?? Bingo! I have said before that I do not like the baby stage. But in order to get a 5+ year old, you have to go through the infant-4 year old stage. I *love* the ages of my boys right now. We interact well, they are fun to be around, they are easy to travel with. I would *not* want them to be 2 and 4 any more no matter how cute and adorable and loving they were.
<> You're not alone. I've BTDT. I know how you feel. Some people are "baby people." Some are "toddler people." Others are "older kids people." I'm in the latter group. And I'm not embarassed to say it.
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Not farfetched, but "ou're surely not going back to a regular FT WOH job" is not a foregone conclusion either. (Is there a person who wouldn't like having 50 vacation days? Does every person who would like 50 vacation days SAH forever because of that like?)
I don't maximize my time with DS after school even now. I have regular activities away from him 2-3 times a week during time in which he's not in school. I've said to you before that I don't "maximize" my time with him. I don't really know why you have the impression that I do. (I enjoy spending time with him very much. He wouldn't at all be interested in doing everything I like to do.)
I said I would "never" have a housekeeper? I don't recall that, nor does that make sense to me that I would have. When both DH and I WOH, we had one who came every other week. I know I've said before that I would never want a non-family member living in my home, is this what you're thinking of (?)
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