WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 6:20pm


Our boys are 6 and 9. Does the fighting,teasing and picking end when they turn 9 and 11. PLEASE say yes!!lol


I had PPD with all of my pg's. What do you think of Tom Cruises bashing of Brooke Shields? I have decided that there are too many Hot actors out there that I may have to ban his movies. Top Gun era I may have not. lol


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 6:28pm

(Hi! Nice to "see" you!)

Everything I want to replicate, I can and do replicate. And I have really, really good "cover" now for doing kid stuff that I like that probably most middle-aged childless folk wouldn't do - roller coasters and water slides, for instance. The only things we really like doing that we've deferred so far? Cruises/European travel. But 9/11 diminished some of the relaxation aspect of that, not just the thought of doing it with a child, and I'm sure DS would be up for either any time now.

I don't think I could replicate my previous litigation practice with enjoyment now - hence I don't put myself through trying to make that work.

I dunno, doing things with DS has turned out to be a lot easier - and more fun - than I would have anticipated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 6:35pm

The fact that your mom said it to you isn't the issue. The issue is that you said it here. It's no longer a private communication between yourself and your mother when you quote it on a debate board. I really don't like the implication that I'm somehow an arrested child myself simply because I enjoy being around young children, and that's what I'm getting from you and PNJ.

Anyway, debate aside, I am sorry that you're having a hard time. You've got to get your DH to take the kids out alone. It will be good for him to be on his own with them in a new environment. And you sound like you could really use a break -- not a shopping-with-friends break, but an alone break. Can you barter with him? Does he know how much you need it?

If you can't find a babysitter, is there a daycare you can use for five hours a week?

Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 7:00pm

Thanks. I am sorry that I said what my mom said here....I really didn't mean anything harmful by it. I just said it.


Dh knows that I need a break. He just sent me downstairs to have a beer while he took care of bathtime. He had to tell me to have a beer because bathtime is usually work time for me, lol. That's when I do all the kitchen cleaning and pick up. Not tonight.


I think he knows that taking the kids out alone is hard work and on the weekends, he's done with working hard too. He always wants to do everything as a 'family' and gets mad if I defer. Like I'll offer to take Aspen to the mall with me and he'll want to go 'as a family' or I'll suggest that he take the girls to visit his dad and he'll want me to go too.


I know that this is short lived in the grand scheme of things. I really do. I can't wait till I can take the kids to water parks (I'm with you dogma, I can't wait for rollercoasters either!) and movies and shopping and just get to know them and have fun.


I also found a summer part-time dc situation that I am going to check out. Something like $25 for a 1/2 day. It will be totally worth it because dh and I have decided to buy some investment properties and I will need time to take care of those things.


Just can't take all the crying! I'm headed outside with my beer ;)


Meldi

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 7:29pm

Having btdt (childfree life that is) I have a hard time even seeing it as something I am *missing out on*. I didnt miss out on it-I lived it for many years. I was ready to let go of being footloose and fancy free by the time I had kids.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 7:30pm

You're a smart person, you're resourceful. Solve your babysitting problem. Get your needs met. You seem to be using the lack of babysitting thing as an excuse for your current level of misery. (I've been there and done that.) If you need four hours a day of babysitting to get your mental health and good attitude together, go get it. You can afford it. What is stopping you from getting help with this current problem other than the glitch that babysitting is tough to find? School is about to let out. At the very least find a thirteen year old girl to come and be your mother's helper. Hire a professional vacation nanny for weekends away.

You can do this. Really. Give yourself permission to make yourself happy right now. Otherwise you are just complaining.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 7:37pm

Who ARE you trying to make yourself clear to? What is the description of the everyone you might not want to make yourself clear to?

(Insert crytic remark here about the qualities of persons who you are hopeful that "get" your posts and make sure it is just sharp enough and oddly worded enough to be perceived as an insult to the riffraff who deign to read it because, heaven forbid you try to make any human connection here in this forum over the years...)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 8:48pm
With the exception of "sheltered," perhaps, not more so than mine. (I didn't have anything in my family to be sheltered from.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 9:01pm
2.5yo's crack me up. Ours has us in stitches at least a dozen times a day, which for me anyway, more than compensates for the poopy diapers and night waking. And on those nights when she does wake up, she comes into our bed and leans over and kisses each of us several times before going back to sleep. I think that's the kind of thing that most people are talking about when they say they miss having a 2 yo. At least that's what I'll be talking about when I say it, and I know I will.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Sat, 05-28-2005 - 8:39am
Well, you can, at the risk of sounding as ridiculous as the three-year-old who doesn't understand that cutting into the cake will ruin the appearance of the cake. But on a three year old, it can be charming and cute. It's really neither at 40.

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