WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 4:00pm

Truthfully? I don't know. It is *because* of DS that I went out on my own. It was only something I toyed with before I had him. Once I had him, I realized it was now or never. It's funny, but I have done more things after having him then I did before. I have run a marathon. I moved cross country. I converted. I started my own business. I have confronted a great many demons and conquered them.

DH has promised me he will take me to Europe. DS wants us to take him to Egypt and Israel. We have driven to Florida and Washington DC with DS and without one of those DVD players in the car, we've taken him to Maine, Vermont, Connecticut, and Canada. I have flown cross country with him many times. This weekend we drove to Long Island and back in a day. He was well-behaved in temple, participated in the service, was able to get his own food in the buffet line, and despite napping for three hours on the drive, still went to bed at his regular time.

I have traveled more after having DS than I ever did before.

Why should having children limit us to what we can do? Granted, I can't do some of the things I used to do pre-DS, but I am doing a great many others.

mom_writer

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 4:07pm

I didnt either. I went to Great Britain when I was about 24, that was my first venture out of the country (not counting mexico and Canada). I didnt go to Europe until 3 years ago.


I chose to make travel a fairly big priority from an early age. No, I couldnt have saved enough as a teen for Europe, but I could squirrel away my babysitting money all year so I could buy a plane ticket to visit relatives in the U.S.


And even having kids-not traveling with kids is a choice. I dont quite understand feeling like one is missing out when one is making a conscious choice not to do something. Travel with kids is a different sort of travel, but its most certainly do-able, and usually quite enjoyable.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 4:27pm

Childbirth doesn't last for 20 years. I can go through the rest of my life without ever experiencing it again, just as your sister can go through the rest of her life without ever eating shellfish. Motherhood is harder to avoid once you've actually got the kids, though.

Yes, you got me -- I didn't enjoy childbirth. I even suffered some physical and psychological effects from the experience. You know what? I went into therapy, I worked with my doctor to find ways to get over the pain from the scars, and I got over it. If there was something about motherhood that made me completely miserable for years on end, I would go on medication, I'd get a job, I'd convince my husband to take the kids out for ice cream after dinner, or I'd find a babysitter. I'm sorry that you're so unhappy, really. But it doesn't sound as if you've even explored solutions. Other mothers (the ones who you think only remember the happy times from videos) might be on to something here, having been through it before.

Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 4:40pm

Lol, I got over it by deciding never ever to go through childbirth again!!!


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 4:43pm

"I went to Great Britain when I was about 24, that was my first venture out of the country (not counting mexico and Canada). I didnt go to Europe until 3 years ago."

Umm, Dj, not to be nit-picky or anything but....Great Britain IS in Europe. Of course they do try to forget that painful little detail as much as possible so I completely understand the slip of the tongue:-).

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 4:49pm
LOL, I have had both English and Welsh nationals assure me, in all seriousness, that they have never been to Europe. Of course, I have also had people living in Normandy assure me that they never go to France if they can help it! (Meaning Paris and I suppose the surrounding Ile de France area).
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 4:54pm

Lol, I have been corrected by Brits that England is NOT really Europe. Thats why I always say *I went to England and Ireland*, not *I went to Europe*!

Dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 4:55pm

Well, I'd say the feeling is mutual. Mainland Europeans still can't quite bring themselves to refer to Great Britain as part of Europe. Heck, Scandinavia barely qualifies :-).

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 4:59pm

Being part of the European Union and having a German royal family notwithstanding. The human mind is a fascinating thing :-).

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 5:52pm

Babyhood and toddlerhood doesn't last for 20 years either. Did you even bother to read all of my posts? How many times did I say that I don't hate being a mom, it's just hard right now for me to get any time alone and that I am working on that??? Just HOW many times did I say that? Haven't I also said that I really admire people like dogma and suzymomm who appear to be unfazed and have all this child-raising under control and truly love it?


You see, I don't use sarcasm here. I find that it doesn't translate well in this format.


I am sorry that you had a hard time during childbirth. I didn't know that you had it so bad (have you mentioned it before? You probably have, I apologize, I have a hard time keeping track) if I had known, I would have used a different example.


<<(the ones who you think only remember the happy times from videos)>>


Where did you get this from? From the fact that I mentioned 'happy times' and 'video camera' in the same sentence? Did you not notice that I was referring to myself and my own family? That we don't tend to take pics and videos of unhappy times, so I probably won't remember them. Yeah, that's it, me. I wasn't talking about you or random other video-taping women. I tend to be sort of literal.


Often I visit the board and find a lot of guidence and perspective. Some times I'm having a crappy day or week and I talk about it here. I guess I get what I deserve, for telling my own truth. And by me saying that

Meldi

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