WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 9:22am
I don't have a single friend I see on what I consider a regular basis (more than once a month).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 9:26am

Neither do we. The only times we see our friends are at kids' birthday parties. We always make plans to get together, but it never happens.


Does not help that all of our friends are about 40 mins away. Even when we do get together with the kids, everyone has to leave and get the kids to bed.


Meldi

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 9:26am
And that has what, exactly, to do with you being a parent?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 9:29am

If I wasn't a parent, I'd have more free time to plan get togethers and make them happen?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 9:34am
But they wouldn't have any more time to come. You said that no one had the time, not that parenthood prevented you from having the time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 9:35am
How is it that you have managed not to have any friends within a 40 minute radius?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 10:01am
Although I enjoyed my work and did find it quite interesting, I also saw the inability to use my vacation time as a downside. I was finally earning enough to take the kind of trips that I wanted, but I couldn't get away for long enough to do it. You're right though about many people not being bothered by that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 10:04am

I definitely don't have things "under control" here, you are right. It is pretty chaotic. If I could be so bold as to say what I DO have figured out, it is this: Life is short, I've chosen this life, and I am determined to make the best of what I have. I refuse to lose my sense of humor and sense of joy (and my sense of perspective--my God we live priviledged lives!) just because there are certain limitations to my time right now.

I don't think it is so much a "doesn't bother" issue. More of an "embrace the mess." The mess can be a lot of fun!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 10:18am
There are lots of parents out there meeting each other, socializing with each other, building new friendships and enjoying old ones even though they have children. Fortunately I have discovered that by and large - people tend to have children all at the same age! I mean not exactly but actually - pretty darn close. This means - everyone I knew is in pretty much the same boat, with the same options and the same preferences for social activities at this time of their life. Everyone I've met since having kids who has kids of their own are people to whom I can very easily relate - the age thing helps alot. Heck one year I crossed a continent with my kids to see my family - and guess what! Lots of opportunity to socialize with parents and their kids! The next year I crossed an ocean to see my husband family and friends and guess what! His friends and family had kids too. Kids kids everywhere kids. We socialize, they play. I've been at this for a decade. It works well. I didn't even know one of my best friends until I had a one year old and a four year old and she had a two year old. I met another when I had a 2 yr old and he had a 3 yr old and a 5 yr old. I lost touch with one of my best highschool friends and didn't connect back up until I had a 1 yr old and a 3-1/2 yr old and she had a 5yr old and a 6 month old. We managed to stay connected even though she followed that up with another baby within a year and a half. I don't live in close proximity to alot of these people. But it doesn't matter. Because close or far, if we have an opportunity to go out and have fun and socialize and I won't because my kids might miss a nap - I wouldn't have many opportunities at all for a social experience. Even if every single one of them lived on my street.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 10:22am
Perhaps your parents didn't realize the difference between a vacation to see family and a family vacation. Your parents missed out on alot. I suspect that can easily happen if one treats a destination like Disney as a day trip outing from a relatives homoe base. There are places in Disney World where children can't even go.

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